I’ve been having a lot of hitting tics lately. I’ve been hitting my chest, shoulders, arms, tables and walls a lot. I’m tired of these tics because, more than any other tics, they hurt. Sometimes it makes me feel a bit better to wear my Camp Twitch and Shout “Tourette’s Tics Me Fff” wristband, so that’s what I’m doing today. Tourette’s is really ticcing me off right now, so the bracelet really seems to be fitting my mood today.
Sometimes I feel like I get all dressed up. I put on nice make up, nice earnings, am really happy with the outfit I picked out today, and then I feel like my tics kind of ruin it all. Sometimes my Tourette’s makes me feel special and unique, and other times it just makes me feel different.
At least I get to look forward to hanging out with other ticcers this Saturday at our next Missouri TSA event! I’m excited for that, especially since I know that there will be people who are my age at this event. It really helps me to see and talk to other people who tic who are my age or older.
It makes me feel less different, and helps me to remember that my tics are just a part of who I am. Even though sometimes I feel embarrassed by my tics or angry at myself for not being able to stop, being with other people who have Tourette’s helps me realize that it’s just something that is a part of me.
I can’t just stop ticcing, it’s something I can’t change, so why not look at it in a good way. Let’s put it this way, if someone told me tomorrow “I’m going to take away your Tourette’s forever!” there might be a part of me that would be very happy about that in the short term, but most of me would shout “NO! I wouldn’t be a counselor at Camp Twitch and Shout, I wouldn’t be on the board of the Missouri TSA, I wouln’t have amazing heart-to-heart conversations with other people who have Tourette’s or who dont have Tourette’s, I would be deprived of so many good things in my life right now that make me special and make me who I am!”
That is what I try to think about.