I know I haven’t blogged in a while, but there has been a lot happening in my life and things have been pretty great. I want to update you all about something that has given me a lot of inspiration and hope about my future (and write this for myself to chronicle my college journey).
I signed up for a course I was very interested in at the beginning of the semester and was very nervous going into it. I was particularly nervous because the professor of the class is very prominent in the field I want to go into. I was nervous about how she would react to my tics and I was worried that my tics would influence what she thought I was capable of achieving (something my parents told me would happen when I was first diagnosed).
I KNOW that my tics don’t effect my ability to be a student, to write, do research or succeed and move forward with my goal of getting a PhD in a very research-oriented area in ANY way. But that thought of “what if she doesn’t understand” was in the back of my head. This class and my relationship with this professor has officially proved my parents so WRONG!
Every relationship I have had since my diagnosis, with a professor, a teacher, a mentor, a friend or a boyfriend has shown me that my tics will not effect what other people think of me or what they think I am capable of achieving. This relationship/mentorship however, has blown me away.
Putting things in perspective for my readers a little: My professor (who I will call Dr. Brown) is a full professor at a university that is ranked #14 in the country, is the principle investigator of a prominent research lab, has published coutless instrumental papers and is as I have said a prominent and well-known researcher in her field. In other words, she’s awesome and anyone who is anyone in this field knows how she is.
In the beginning of the semester I went to meet with her to tell her about my Tourette’s/ tics and how it would effect me in the classroom. I do this with all of my professors (especially for smaller classes) in which my tics might be more noticeable to those around me and to the professor. She reacted very well, like all of my other professors have. She was very relaxed about it and didn’t seem concerned at all.
Even though I was nervous about her seeing my tics in class, I was able to be relaxed and just be myself. I loved how she taught the class and was so fascinated by the material. Every class period I had with her, I felt more and more confident that this is exactly the field I wanted to go into. Every lecture held my attention for the entire 2 1/2 to 3 hours in a way that sparked my interest beyond that of any other class I have taken.
I started speaking up more in class and asking questions about the material. I wanted to know more and loved the discussions her material sparked in class. I also particularly enjoyed the writing assignments! Since this was a writing intensive class we had a paper abstract due almost every week and a midterm and final paper.
I stopped focusing on my tics in class, and more and more they weren’t even a thought in my mind during class because I was so interested and focused on what I was learning and how it applied to my independent research I do at the medical school.