Um, Stink is 12 now. I mean, really, how is this possible? He’s gone from a short-haired, Scooby Doo obsessed 6-year-old to a shaggy haired, book reading, computer playing, comic writing tween. I mean, that’s insane.
Didn’t I just write this article when he was first diagnosed at 6?
It’s been a long time since I’ve dealt with TS. I have my days of hand wringing over sounds and movements, but it’s a heck of a lot better than it used to be. Part of that is a healthy dose of acceptance on my part. But a lot of that is just that I love my kid for who he is becoming. I am letting go of fear, day by day, and working on my own spirit. If Stink can be comfortable with the sound of his voice, than why can’t I be comfortable with mine? It’s time.
I wish, knowing what I know now, that someone had written to me at the early stages of this journey. It would have helped to know that my son would be okay. That I’d be OK, too.
If you’re new to this journey, I can promise you that it’s all going to be alright.
I’m not sure what your plans are for 2015, but mine is discipline. It’s time to carve out time — every day — to do things that matter. When I do that, I am a happier Andrea. Then I’m happier mom. I am a better friend. A better wife. And a better daughter.
Each morning I begin with a small prayer from a devotional. At 5:30 am.
Yup, I need Jesus if I’m up at that hour. But you know what? When it’s me and a cup of coffee, I can either think good thoughts that renew my mind and hit the gym, or crazy, spinning, “Oh, God, what’s going to happen?” thoughts that just feel toxic.
I don’t have big expectations for myself at the gym. 100 calories on the treadmill and I’m good. It’s not about getting in amazing shape physically. It’s about putting myself on the machine — one foot in front of the other. I matter.
As moms of kids with special needs, it’s easy to forget who we are in the process of life. We’re always trying to fix things — make things more comfortable for everyone. But as a friend, Adelia, once pointed out to me, “All boys at 12 have special needs.” Ain’t that the truth. Last I checked, tics or not, no tween boy was ever normal. And most I know are as obsessed with video games as Stink.
For me, it’s time to be obsessed with getting back to what I love most: writing. Three days a week I’m going to blog again. (Hold me to it!)
Along those lines, I’ve got this book just sitting in my hard drive. Truthfully, it’s been rejected by 3 big agents. They loved the query, but said it was too niche. I kind of just, well, stopped sending it out. But really, that’s dumb. It just takes one agent to say yes. And I can always self-publish. The main thing is to go with my heart and hopefully affect someone in a positive way.
In my next few blog posts, I will share with you the dedication, introduction and Chapter 1 of my book “Happily Ticked Off” for you to read if you’re interested.
Andrea, My 6 year old just started having tics 3 months ago. I am one of those moms hanging by a thread. It seems like you live around Los Angeles like I do. Do you know of any support groups? I need other moms to talk to or I’m going to lose it.