Well, I finally did it! I told the guy i’m dating about my tics. It’s a GIANT weight off my shoulders, and it ultimately wasn’t that big of a deal at all. I told him last night very casually while talking about camp.
We sat down to eat some dinner and when he asked how my day was I told him it was great because I sent in my application for my 3rd year as a counselor at the camp I’ve been volunteering at in the summer. I had told him a little about the camp before, but this time I went into more detail. I told him that I’m looking forward to seeing all my campers who i’ve made such close bonds with. I told him that I bond with them and they really look up to me because I had tics when I was younger too, know what it’s like, and am able to give them advice and be an older role model who has been though what they’ve been though.
I also told him that I still have tics, but i’m able to suppress/hold them back more than I was able to when I was younger. I told him that it’s like a cough or a sneeze, you can feel it coming and hold it back. I told him it’s kind of like when you’re in a movie theater and don’t want to make noise so you try not to cough, and then when you get out of the theater, you just cough a lot! He said he didn’t know it was like that. I told him that’s why he hasn’t really seen me do any tics and he agreed that he hadn’t noticed anything and said he didn’t know I had tics.
He was really great about everything I told him about my tics. He was very understanding, very positive, and even asked me a question ( I love when people have the courage to ask questions, instead of just sit there, smile, and nod). He tried to be compassionate and sympathetic by telling me that sometimes his eye twitches so he knows what it’s like to not want other people to see that, but that ultimately you can’t control it, so you shouldn’t be embarrassed. He also said that he understands that people might judge you when they shouldn’t because you’re twitching or moving , but they shouldn’t judge you because its not something you can control.
When I was telling him I made sure to stress that it wasn’t a big deal, that my really good friends who’ve seen my tics a lot say they don’t even notice it anymore and I also made sure to tell him it’s made me into a more compassionate person and understanding others’ differences.
After I told him, we studied together and when it was time to leave, I walked him out, he kissed me goodbye, and told me he would text me the next day. Sure enough, he texted me today and asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner with him. Dinner tonight went well and I felt much more relaxed around him.
I am so glad I told him. I feel like now I can be so much more invested in the relationship and be myself more. I also now know that he is accepting of the fact I have tics and still wants to go out with me. It’s still going to take me a while to actually feel comfortable ticcing around him, but i’m getting there!
This was a huge step for me, and I’m so glad it turned out so well. Thank you to everyone (shout out to Brandy especially!! You helped me so much in terms of taking this step!) for supporting me through this and helping me to have the courage to tell him. I feel so relieved and happy. Everything in my life is just going right! 🙂 I am in such a good place right now, I couldn’t ask for anything more. I feel so blessed! 🙂