During my yoga practice this weekend, my teacher Jess shared something that got me thinking.\u00a0 She said that at the end of her pregnancy with her twins, she was up 80 pounds and feeling out of sorts with her body.\u00a0 I can only imagine.\u00a0 Jess\u2019 friend, whom I assume is another yogi, commented on how wonderful this was.\u00a0 Jess must have looked at her dumbfounded.\u00a0 What could be great about all this weight gain?\u00a0 About feeling like her body was alien to her?\u00a0 About knowing what lay ahead to get back in shape once she gave birth?\u00a0 Jess\u2019 friend explained further.\u00a0 She said that now Jess had the gift of understanding her ill, overweight and out of shape students in a new and profound way because she herself had experienced something similar.\u00a0 Looking at Jess today you\u2019d never know what she went through.\u00a0 When she teaches though, she shares her experiences from the heart, relates from a place of purity and connection to all of her students no matter where they are with their practice, their body, their mind.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 It hit me that this level of empathy and ability to support her students through the actual asana and the emotional blocks is possible because of Jess\u2019 journey, not in spite of it.\u00a0 No training or book could have prepared Jess the way personal experience has.\u00a0 So why do I share this story you may wonder?\u00a0 Simply put, I see my own journey in Jess\u2019.<\/p>\n
In June of 2010, my 5 year old daughter was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome.\u00a0 The diagnosis came after months of desperately trying to figure out what was wrong with her.\u00a0 The months leading up to the diagnosis were filled with doctor\u2019s visits, conversations with other parents, reading books and of course MANY Google searches on tics, anxiety, rage disorder, neurologists, vitamin regiments, dietary changes\u2026\u00a0 I felt alone, petrified of the future, dreading the diagnosis I was pretty sure we\u2019d be getting.\u00a0 Spending time with my daughter, something I had once longed for as a working Mom, became a source of stress for me.\u00a0 I struggled to be in the moment with her.\u00a0 How could I focus on the board game we were playing when her eyes were rolling, her head dragging to the side, her hands stretching and clenching rhythmically?\u00a0 How could there be any simple pleasures when my little girl\u2019s brain was \u201cmalfunctioning\u201d.\u00a0 When I wasn\u2019t with her, I worried.\u00a0 How she was feeling?\u00a0 Were other kids making fun of her?\u00a0 What did it feel like to tic all the time?\u00a0 What did other parents think?\u00a0 Teachers?\u00a0 And then came the blame game, the one where I decided this was all my fault.\u00a0 After all, I carried her for 9 months.\u00a0 I had a hard time with the pregnancy hormones, vomiting through the bulk of it.\u00a0 I allowed the stress of my job to get to me during her gestation and early in her life.\u00a0 Maybe living on milkshakes and bagels while pregnant (it was all I could tolerate) had caused this.\u00a0 Or perhaps it was the medications I took during my pregnancy for the nausea and another health condition.\u00a0 The doctors said they were safe but maybe they were wrong.\u00a0 Or maybe this was due to all the illnesses Maddie had as a baby, toddler and preschooler, a result of being exposed to so much in day care because after all, I worked!\u00a0 Maybe that was the wrong choice.\u00a0 I was tormented.<\/p>\n
If someone would have told me that, like Jess and the 80 lbs she gained, I was being given a gift with Maddie\u2019s diagnosis, I would have been downright angry, thinking that person was a Pollyanna or certainly not a parent of a child with special needs themselves.\u00a0 Only now, 6 \u00bd years later, I know this to be true.\u00a0 In fact, Maddie\u2019s diagnosis brought with it many more gifts than I could have imagined.\u00a0 They include:<\/p>\n
In every challenge, we have choices.\u00a0 We can relate to it as a struggle, something we are at the effect of or have fallen victim to.\u00a0 Or, we can sweep the \u201cfeels\u201d and fears under the rug pretending they don\u2019t exist.\u00a0 Or, we can chose a path of responsibility.\u00a0 One where we face our deepest fears and angst head on in service of our child, our family and our self.\u00a0 From this place, we are able to powerfully move through our stops and heartbreak to become present to the gifts available right now, TODAY..in the present moment.<\/p>\n
Who will you be in the face of your child\u2019s differences?\u00a0 How has your child\u2019s diagnosis shaped you?\u00a0 Your family?\u00a0 What are the messages you want your child receiving in the face of adversity?\u00a0 Will you model how to be a survivor?<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re reading this with peaked interest but skepticism, I\u2019d love to hear from you.\u00a0 And, if you\u2019re thinking that I should take off my \u201crose colored glasses\u201d and get real, I\u2019d love to hear from you, too.\u00a0 My commitment, as a mother of two children with TS is to be of service to other parents in the NJCTS community.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do this by sharing my own experiences (more blog posts to come) and providing complimentary parent coaching.<\/p>\n
Emily Golden, ACC
\nCoach & HR Consultant
\nGolden Resources, LLC
\nemily@golden-resources.com
\n<\/a>www.golden-resources.com<\/a><\/p>\n