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<\/a><\/p>\nIntroduction, Part 2<\/strong><\/p>\n Self-Esteem<\/strong><\/p>\n Many of you will opt for a more natural route to easing tics, but worry about your child\u2019s self-esteem while you work out a game plan. You don\u2019t want him teased. Your heart breaks that some nasty kid will poke fun at his arm thrusting tic.<\/p>\n I understand your concern. I was crushed at the prospect of some bully tormenting my baby. But I set my emotions aside and focused on a more important reality: Cruel kids are going to tease other children whether or not those children have tics.\u00a0 My son\u2019s heart, character and personality would define him, not his tics. (Chapter B)<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s easier said than done,\u201d you might wail.<\/p>\n To that I will respond with a resounding, \u201cDuh.\u201d But with practice, you\u2019ll learn to focus on your child\u2019s strengths, not his tics.<\/em><\/p>\n Mild Tics\/Mild Annoyance<\/strong><\/p>\n If your child has mild tics, there\u2019s a good chance he doesn\u2019t notice them or isn\u2019t bothered by them.<\/p>\n This last statement is hard to believe, but it\u2019s true. Your kid might be happily watching Spongebob, coughing like a bronchitis stricken seal six times a minute, and his only complaint at the end of the show will be, \u201cMommy, I could really go for a bologna and cheese sandwich.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Your Child\u2019s Life Is Not Over<\/strong><\/p>\n To highly tuned-in mamas like yourselves, your children\u2019s inability to be affected by tics is baffling, because every minor gulp, throat clear and tongue click will be magnified into\u00a0LOUD!\u00a0RICOCHETING! EXPLOSIONS!\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>They will boom like a fog horn in your ringing ears, taunting you that \u201cYour child\u2019s life is O-V-E-R.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Your child\u2019s life is far from over. Tics or TS is not a death sentence. The only thing that needs to die is your old vision of what you thought your child\u2019s life would look like. He can experience as much success as a non-ticking child.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s Not Your Fault<\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019d lie if I said I have 100% embraced TS, but with some experience under my belt, I have better days than worse days. I might make my kid eat brocalli on purpose, but I didn\u2019t give him T.S. on purpose. I don\u2019t blame myself for his condition.<\/p>\n Whether your child has a unique case of TS or he had a genetic pre-disposition to it, stop feeling guilty about it. Focus instead on passing down other incredible gifts to your child, such as the ability to stay curious about life, the ability to love, the ability to experience endless joy and the ability to tell a killer joke. (Never underestimate that last talent. It far surpasses tics any day of the week.)\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n You Feel Like You Could Die<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m devastated,\u201d you might moan. \u201cAcceptance is about as likely to happen for me as winning the Lottery. And frankly, I\u2019d trade in tics for a million dollar jackpot any day of the week.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0Unlike tics that often appear out of nowhere, transformation doesn\u2019t happen overnight. You\u2019ll need time to both accept this crazy syndrome as well as come up with a protocol that will lessen your child\u2019s symptoms. You need to be patient.<\/em><\/p>\n Patience-Schmatience<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cHow can I be patient?\u201d You\u2019ll snap. \u201cAs if I didn\u2019t already have the stress of bills, housecleaning, work and a husband who, for the record, seems eerily unshaken by these tics and has no idea why I\u2019m freaking out, I now have to listen to lip smacking five times a minute for three hours straight?!?!\u201d<\/p>\n To this I\u2019ll respond, \u201cPatience comes when you stop paying such close attention.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n And to that you will respond with something that sounds like \u201cDuck\u201d and ends with \u201cYou.\u201d<\/p>\n Go ahead. I can take it. I can also handle your protests about how you\u2019ve tried not to pay attention to your kid\u2019s noises, but you can\u2019t help yourself.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n It Gets Better<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cThere he goes again!\u201d you\u2019ll complain, as you read this introduction and scan for tics with the obsession hound dog sniffing out convicts. (Congrats on the multi-tasking, btw.)<\/p>\n To all this I will heartily add that \u201cI have been there! I get it! It will get better!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n No one Understands!<\/strong><\/p>\n You will simply roll your eyes, wondering for a brief moment if you yourself have tics but then realize you\u2019re simply being catty to me which, again, I forgive you. You will then convince yourself that no one else could possibly understand your frustration and hopelessness.<\/p>\n But I do understand it.\u00a0 I have been locked in car rides through the desert where no amount of country music could drown out my son\u2019s post swimming throat clears. For days afterwards, similar to Old Faithful, I couldn\u2019t help watching and waiting for his well-timed and unremitting eruptions.<\/em><\/p>\n Other People Don\u2019t Notice Tics Like You Do<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cOld Faithful is an excellent analogy,\u201d you agree, \u201cbecause everyone is going to stare at him in public \u2013 clapping and jeering at this unique and boisterous spectacle.\u201d<\/p>\n Unlike visiting a national monument, most people are not interested in the incredible national treasure that is your child. They simply will not notice the minor sounds and vocal movements. Stop being such a narcissist. (Note: It takes one to know one. I am constantly working on that trait, too!)<\/em><\/p>\n No Room for Fear<\/strong><\/p>\n But I\u2019m terrified he will be ostracized by his peers!\u00a0 What if he be barks after busses and curses the F-Word in circle time!\u201d<\/p>\n Get that fear a muzzle, because like your bad high school boyfriend, it lies like a rug. (For the record, less than 10% of T.S. kids uncontrollably curse. So let\u2019s keep this worry in check and take it one step at a time, okay?)<\/em><\/p>\n Moms Survival Tactics<\/strong><\/p>\n You consider getting ear plugs but figure good mothers would never avoid the sounds of their children. You berate yourself for finding excuses to fold laundry to avoid watching your daughter blink and jaw thrust over her chapter book.<\/p>\n One of the best mothers I know rearranged her house plants so she wouldn\u2019t have to see her daughter nod her head over and over at the breakfast table.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Many people would call foliage adjustment poor parenting.<\/em><\/p>\n I call it brilliant. It\u2019s a perfectly acceptable survival mechanism.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Patience<\/strong><\/p>\n By now you\u2019re not sure if I\u2019ve completely lost my mind, but a small part of your brain is telling you that I might be making sense. You agree to try out a little patience but aren\u2019t sure how to start.<\/p>\n How about right now?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Take a deep breath.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Tell yourself that for just this moment everything is going to be fine.<\/em><\/p>\n All you have to do is be your child\u2019s mother \u2013 in whatever state he or she is in.<\/em><\/p>\n Tell yourself that you don\u2019t have all the answers, but you\u2019re going to try your best to take it one step at a time.<\/em><\/p>\n Take another deep breath.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n And now allow me to share a little story with you as you take your first jaunt down that long and windy road of patience. This inspirational tale is one I heard long before my Nicky was diagnosed with Tourettes. On rough days for me\u2013 which at the beginning were every day \u2013 its encouraging message would soothe my brain like a good cabernet.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Drinking<\/strong><\/p>\n During the early days, a bad cabernet worked just as well. If you, too, find yourself drinking a bit more to calm down at the end of the day, you wouldn\u2019t be the first frazzled mama to do so. But I encourage you to keep it in check. TS isn\u2019t going away anytime soon. Does your ticking son really need to be flanked by a slurring mother hopped up on Two Buck Chuck? And really, it\u2019s going to be hard enough to find time to cook healthier meals, schedule in more exercise, shop for supplements and fit in a meditation schedule.\u00a0 Combined with AA meetings, you\u2019ll soon find yourself ticking, too. Careful, OK?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n In my next post, I’ll get back to our regular scheduled programming of inspirational story telling.<\/p>\n