{"id":4128,"date":"2015-02-02T07:30:42","date_gmt":"2015-02-02T12:30:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/tsparents\/?p=4128"},"modified":"2015-02-02T07:30:42","modified_gmt":"2015-02-02T12:30:42","slug":"5-ways-not-to-help-a-friend-with-anxiety-attacks-part-4-good-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/tsparents\/5-ways-not-to-help-a-friend-with-anxiety-attacks-part-4-good-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways NOT to Help a Friend with Anxiety Attacks, part 4: Good advice"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"5<\/a><\/p>\n

If ESPN broadcasted anxiety stats instead of sports scores, this would be the standing in my house:<\/p>\n

Anxiety-1:Brittany-0<\/p>\n

I\u2019m hitting the point in this pregnancy (27 weeks) where sleep is greatly desired, but I\u2019m waking up more than I\u2019d like. Last night I only got five hours of sleep before simultaneous heartburn, hunger, and the siren call of the bathroom got to me. After breakfast, I laid back down and tried to take a nap. Instead of passing out, however, I realized my breath was coming faster and faster, and my heart rate began to climb. Ever aware of the fact that what happens to me affects my baby, I had my husband take my pulse. I clocked in at 124 heartbeats per minute.<\/p>\n

It only took a moment for me to really figure out what was going on. An anxiety attack was calling, and I\u2019d left the door wide open. After a cautionary trip to the hospital last week to check on Jelly Bean, I\u2019d decided to relax a bit until everything returned to normal. And while it was a good decision (in my opinion), it also meant I didn\u2019t get nearly as much exercise as usual. (And exercise is my Numero Uno\u00a0natural anti-anxiety \u201cmedication<\/a><\/strong>.\u201d) Of course, there was also the song I was going to sing in some dear friends\u2019 wedding this afternoon, and the fact that we\u2019re moving in about two weeks, and I\u2019m nowhere near packed or ready.<\/p>\n

In short, there were lots of reasons for the anxiety to creep in.<\/p>\n

My husband had a decision to make when I told him the reason for my crazy heart rate. He had to choose his words and actions so that they helped me overcome my anxiety, rather than making them worse. And thankfully, he didn\u2019t choose any of these.<\/p>\n

Today is the fourth of 5 straight Mondays in which we are going to discuss 5 ways NOT to help someone having an anxiety attack. If you can follow these 5 rules, you may just find yourself a new best friend. Here is rule No. 4:<\/p>\n

Start throwing good advice at them<\/strong><\/p>\n

This one drives me crazy. I have enough anxiety attacks that I can often pinpoint the source of the anxiety pretty quickly when one starts. Knowing what has caused the anxiety can be helpful to me personally, but when I\u2019m having an anxiety attack, I\u2019m going to be focusing on getting that anxiety down, reminding myself that everything\u2019s going to be okay. I\u2019m not going to be in the mood to problem solve.<\/p>\n

If your friend is having an anxiety attack about a problem at work, it can be tempting to help her figure out how to fix the problem then and there. What she really needs, however, is a reminder that work isn\u2019t her life. She might be in the mood to talk it out later when the anxiety attack is over (I often am.), but in the midst of the fear that swirls inside of her, she needs an anchor. She needs to know that you love her and you\u2019re willing to wait for her. A simple hug or squeezing her hand kindly will probably go much further than supplying her with ways to tell off her boss.<\/p>\n

Also included in this category is throwing scripture verses at them. Believe me, I love God\u2019s Word, and while I\u2019m outside trying to get a hold of myself, I\u2019m probably quoting them in my head. But again, throwing them at me like a pill isn\u2019t going to help. And if you tell me my lack of faith is the reason I\u2019m feeling anxious, it\u2019s only going to make my anxiety worse.<\/p>\n

Remember, anxiety management is learning to see beyond feelings. My anxiety attack doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019ve lost my faith in God\u2019s promises. It means I\u2019m clinging to them for dear life while I battle the fallen body I inhabit here on earth. Telling me I\u2019m being unfaithful is just going to make everything worse.<\/p>\n

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