{"id":4125,"date":"2015-01-26T07:30:40","date_gmt":"2015-01-26T12:30:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/tsparents\/?p=4125"},"modified":"2015-01-26T07:30:40","modified_gmt":"2015-01-26T12:30:40","slug":"5-ways-not-to-help-a-friend-with-anxiety-attacks-part-3-lets-talk-it-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/tsparents\/5-ways-not-to-help-a-friend-with-anxiety-attacks-part-3-lets-talk-it-out\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways NOT to Help a Friend with Anxiety Attacks, part 3: Let’s talk it out"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"5<\/a><\/p>\n

If ESPN broadcasted anxiety stats instead of sports scores, this would be the standing in my house:<\/p>\n

Anxiety-1:Brittany-0<\/p>\n

I\u2019m hitting the point in this pregnancy (27 weeks) where sleep is greatly desired, but I\u2019m waking up more than I\u2019d like. Last night I only got five hours of sleep before simultaneous heartburn, hunger, and the siren call of the bathroom got to me. After breakfast, I laid back down and tried to take a nap. Instead of passing out, however, I realized my breath was coming faster and faster, and my heart rate began to climb. Ever aware of the fact that what happens to me affects my baby, I had my husband take my pulse. I clocked in at 124 heartbeats per minute.<\/p>\n

It only took a moment for me to really figure out what was going on. An anxiety attack was calling, and I\u2019d left the door wide open. After a cautionary trip to the hospital last week to check on Jelly Bean, I\u2019d decided to relax a bit until everything returned to normal. And while it was a good decision (in my opinion), it also meant I didn\u2019t get nearly as much exercise as usual. (And exercise is my Numero Uno\u00a0natural anti-anxiety \u201cmedication<\/a><\/strong>.\u201d) Of course, there was also the song I was going to sing in some dear friends\u2019 wedding this afternoon, and the fact that we\u2019re moving in about two weeks, and I\u2019m nowhere near packed or ready.<\/p>\n

In short, there were lots of reasons for the anxiety to creep in.<\/p>\n

My husband had a decision to make when I told him the reason for my crazy heart rate. He had to choose his words and actions so that they helped me overcome my anxiety, rather than making them worse. And thankfully, he didn\u2019t choose any of these.<\/p>\n

Today is the third of 5 straight Mondays in which we are going to discuss 5 ways NOT to help someone having an anxiety attack. If you can follow these 5 rules, you may just find yourself a new best friend. Here is rule No. 1<\/strong><\/a>. Here is rule No. 2<\/strong><\/a>. And following is rule No. 3:<\/p>\n

Force them to talk it out<\/strong><\/p>\n

This goes hand-in-hand with the last piece of advice. There are some times when I feel like I need to talk to someone during an anxiety attack, but there are other times where I just need to focus on my breathing. Sitting with me quietly can be a healing balm to my anxious soul. Forcing me to accept you as my therapist, however, can backfire.<\/p>\n

This is a hard line to walk, and not only is every friend different, but every anxiety attack is different. I would start by asking gentle questions. Here are some good starters:<\/p>\n