{"id":4122,"date":"2015-01-19T07:30:37","date_gmt":"2015-01-19T12:30:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/tsparents\/?p=4122"},"modified":"2015-01-19T07:30:37","modified_gmt":"2015-01-19T12:30:37","slug":"5-ways-not-to-help-a-friend-with-anxiety-attacks-part-2-its-uncomfortable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/tsparents\/5-ways-not-to-help-a-friend-with-anxiety-attacks-part-2-its-uncomfortable\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways NOT to Help a Friend with Anxiety Attacks, part 2: It’s uncomfortable"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"5<\/a><\/p>\n

If ESPN broadcasted anxiety stats instead of sports scores, this would be the standing in my house:<\/p>\n

Anxiety-1:Brittany-0<\/p>\n

I\u2019m hitting the point in this pregnancy (27 weeks) where sleep is greatly desired, but I\u2019m waking up more than I\u2019d like. Last night I only got five hours of sleep before simultaneous heartburn, hunger, and the siren call of the bathroom got to me. After breakfast, I laid back down and tried to take a nap. Instead of passing out, however, I realized my breath was coming faster and faster, and my heart rate began to climb. Ever aware of the fact that what happens to me affects my baby, I had my husband take my pulse. I clocked in at 124 heartbeats per minute.<\/p>\n

It only took a moment for me to really figure out what was going on. An anxiety attack was calling, and I\u2019d left the door wide open. After a cautionary trip to the hospital last week to check on Jelly Bean, I\u2019d decided to relax a bit until everything returned to normal. And while it was a good decision (in my opinion), it also meant I didn\u2019t get nearly as much exercise as usual. (And exercise is my Numero Uno\u00a0natural anti-anxiety \u201cmedication<\/a><\/strong>.\u201d) Of course, there was also the song I was going to sing in some dear friends\u2019 wedding this afternoon, and the fact that we\u2019re moving in about two weeks, and I\u2019m nowhere near packed or ready.<\/p>\n

In short, there were lots of reasons for the anxiety to creep in.<\/p>\n

My husband had a decision to make when I told him the reason for my crazy heart rate. He had to choose his words and actions so that they helped me overcome my anxiety, rather than making them worse. And thankfully, he didn\u2019t choose any of these.<\/p>\n

Today is the second of 5 straight Mondays in which we are going to discuss 5 ways NOT to help someone having an anxiety attack. If you can follow these 5 rules, you may just find yourself a new best friend. In case you missed it, here’s is rule No. 1<\/strong><\/a>. And now, rule No. 2:<\/p>\n

Leave because it makes you uncomfortable<\/strong><\/p>\n

Much to my shame, I\u2019m a crier. I cry when I\u2019m frustrated, and I cry when I\u2019m angry, so there\u2019s a good chance that I\u2019m not in the mood to do a whole lot of talking when I\u2019m in the middle of an anxiety attack. When I\u2019m already struggling to regulate my emotions, the last thing I want to do is break down in public.<\/p>\n

That said, just because I\u2019m not able to speak during an anxiety attack doesn\u2019t mean I necessarily want you to go. If I don\u2019t want you around, I probably won\u2019t tell you I\u2019m having an anxiety attack, or I\u2019ll get up and leave on my own. If I\u2019ve been willing to squeak out to you, however, that I am indeed struggling with an anxiety attack, it means you have some level of my trust. Just up and leaving me in my moment of need isn\u2019t going to do much to keep that trust.<\/p>\n

Instead, let me lead. It\u2019s okay to ask me if I want you to stay. \u201cWould you like some company?\u201d can go a long way. I might want you to stay, and I might tell you that it\u2019s okay, you can go, depending on the circumstances. But either way, I know you offered. And being with me when I\u2019m scared and feeling alone can go a long way in helping me heal.<\/p>\n

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