{"id":4115,"date":"2015-01-05T07:30:14","date_gmt":"2015-01-05T12:30:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/tsparents\/?p=4115"},"modified":"2015-01-05T07:30:14","modified_gmt":"2015-01-05T12:30:14","slug":"a-new-year-part-2-why-the-obsession-with-perfection-is-dangerous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/tsparents\/a-new-year-part-2-why-the-obsession-with-perfection-is-dangerous\/","title":{"rendered":"A New Year, part 2: Why the obsession with perfection is dangerous"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"2015<\/a><\/p>\n

Let me start by saying that while many of OCD\u2019s intrusive thoughts can be of other natures, today we\u2019re focusing on the ones that push us to perfection, the ones that nag and tell us we\u2019ll never be good enough or work hard enough. Part of the problem with these OCD thoughts is that they can really pull us away from what\u2019s most important in our lives. No one has a perfect track record, but because of failures in the past, those intrusive thoughts will nag us to work harder until we\u2019re haggard and spent.<\/p>\n

According to Science Daily\u2019s article, \u201cWorkaholic<\/a><\/strong>,\u201d Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder can be the\u00a0reason the workaholic mindset. The article says that workaholism doesn\u2019t just apply to work; it can also apply to music, art, or sports. (In my opinion, it can apply to any pursuit taken to the extreme.) Any good thing can become unhealthy when taken too far.<\/p>\n

\"OCD<\/a><\/p>\n

The side effects? According to Science Daily, people who pursue interests obsessively often tend to ignore family, other social relationships, and can work less productively. The constant push for perfection can lead to health problems as well. I\u2019ve struggled with many of these effects of \u201cworkaholism.\u201d In high school and college, after each semester I would get sick with a mystery illness. I spent little time with friends, and I even felt guilty vacationing with my family.<\/p>\n

Like I said, this part of OCD focuses on the obsessive side of the disorder. These are those nagging thoughts that just won\u2019t leave you alone. They\u2019re the ones that whisper that you didn\u2019t turn off the stove (even though you\u2019ve checked it), or that you made your boss so angry you\u2019ll get fired (even though all he did was give you a tip on your performance evaluation). NPR\u2019s article, \u201cWhen Obsessive-Compulsive Thoughts Are \u2018Triggered<\/a><\/strong>,’\u201d says that contrary to popular opinion, OCD contains many of these, \u201cintrusive thoughts.\u201d They\u2019re completely internal, not the general physical compulsions people think of like washing hands.<\/p>\n

Psychology Today\u2019s article, \u201cThose Damn Unwanted Thoughts!\u201d, says, \u201cYour idea that\u00a0thoughts=reality\u00a0is what Jack Rachman of the University of British Columbia called \u2018thought-action fusion.’\u201d Those of us with OCD tend to believe whatever our mind tells us. We think our thoughts determine reality. As the author of the article points out, however, we can think about a pot of gold all day, but at the end of the day, we\u2019ll still have nothing to take to the bank.<\/p>\n

We can think all day that if we work just a little harder things will be perfect. But let\u2019s face it, we\u2019re human, and at the end of the day, no matter how many hours, days, weeks, months, and years we\u2019ve worked, we\u2019ll still be human.<\/p>\n

Acknowledging this is more easily said than done, however. When our thoughts tell us that we\u2019re going to lose our jobs because our performances are less than perfect, those intrusive thoughts can butt in on every enjoyable moment of our days that aren\u2019t spent at work. When our thoughts tell us that we\u2019ve failed at reaching a goal because we didn\u2019t pursue it perfectly, those intrusive thoughts can drive us to work so hard that we lose relationships and health. Allowing these thoughts to run our lives is anything but healthy.<\/p>\n

But what can we do about them? How can we work toward becoming well-rounded individuals, rather instead of obsessing over slices of our lives? How can we break away from the minute detail to see the big picture?<\/p>\n

Well-Rounded Individuals<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Westwood Institute for Anxiety Disorders has a great article titled, \u201cFour Steps: Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz\u2019s Four Steps<\/a><\/strong>.\u201d In it, Dr. Edna Gorbis, an assistant Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at UCLA\u2019s School of Medicine, lays out a basic 4 step program that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy patients are taught. While the article focuses mainly on compulsions, I believe the same principals are applicable to obsessive intrusive thoughts.<\/p>\n

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  1. Re-label \u2013<\/strong> Recognizing the unwanted, intrusive thoughts and urges are from the OCD, not from you.<\/li>\n
  2. Reattribute \u2013<\/strong> Recognizing that the strength of the OCD urges and thoughts are the results of a chemical imbalance of the part of the brain called the Striatum.<\/li>\n
  3. Refocus \u2013<\/strong> Delaying the gratification of the OCD desire (thought or compulsion) by focusing on something else. Instead of beating yourself up for the unwanted thought or compulsion, see if you can push it off for a length of time by focusing your attention on something else first.<\/li>\n
  4. Revalue \u2013<\/strong> Not giving the thoughts and urges weight, knowing that the real value does not exist in the lies your OCD tells you.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Like I said, this year has been a real year of personal growth for me. I know I tend to fall into the workaholic mindset. Whether it\u2019s working with children, writing, or keeping my house perfectly clean and organized, I\u2019ve been learning to focus more on what\u2019s really important in life. I\u2019ll use writing for instance.<\/p>\n

    When I started this blog, I was gung-ho. I blogged three times a week, and spent hours on each blog, trying to make it perfect. I was also working on multiple other writing projects, reading books on getting published, and interacting daily on social media in order to create contacts. I was doing every single thing I could in order to be a successful writer. The books said I needed to do all these things, and my OCD whispered that if I didn\u2019t follow the directions word-for-word, it would be my fault when my writing career ended in failure.<\/p>\n

    As usual, however, life started catching up with me. I was missing out on a lot of time with my husband, my house was in awful shape, and at least three or four days a week, I was spending an unhealthy amount of time on the computer at crazy hours of the night. And that was just for blogging. As time began to pass, however, I began to realize that I couldn\u2019t keep up the pace. It wasn\u2019t good for my marriage, my house, or my health. I had to step back and reevaluate the schedule I was keeping, and I had to ask myself why I was pushing that hard.<\/p>\n

    Without knowing it, I was applying the 4 steps from above:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Re-label \u2013<\/strong> I began to relabel the thoughts that insisted I would be a failure if I didn\u2019t give this writing 100% of my time and energy.<\/li>\n
    2. Reattribute \u2013<\/strong> I had to recognize that my OCD tendencies were pushing me harder than I needed to be pushed. The push was all in my mind, not from any outside forces.<\/li>\n
    3. Refocus \u2013<\/strong> I began to blog less and spend more time focusing on other parts of my life\u2026and I began to realize that my writing career wasn\u2019t necessarily over just because I\u2019d stopped blogging 3 times a week.<\/li>\n
    4. Revalue \u2013<\/strong> When my OCD makes me anxious about my blogging schedule, I\u2019m trying to remember now that it\u2019s my OCD insisting I get it done immediately. The sky will not fall if I get it done tomorrow instead of today. My health (and now my baby\u2019s health) is worth not listening to the intrusive, bossy thoughts my OCD plants in my head.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      This idea of putting intrusive OCD thoughts back in their proper place is where the idea \u201ctalking back to OCD\u201d comes from. What I\u2019ve found in my own life is what I\u2019ve found in multiple articles, and though it sounds cliche, it\u2019s the key to beginning to untangle those cruel OCD thoughts that butt in on our lives. It\u2019s where we treat our OCD thoughts as thought they\u2019re not part of us. We recognize that they\u2019re present due to chemical imbalances in the brain. Not because we\u2019re strange or odd or crazy, but because our minds are simply hardwired a little differently from everyone else\u2019s.<\/p>\n

      And that\u2019s OK. The key is to remember this before we begin to blame ourselves.<\/p>\n

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