{"id":3416,"date":"2014-02-11T07:30:25","date_gmt":"2014-02-11T12:30:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/tsparents\/?p=3416"},"modified":"2014-02-11T07:30:25","modified_gmt":"2014-02-11T12:30:25","slug":"rage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/tsparents\/rage\/","title":{"rendered":"RAGE!!! Part 1: Learning through experience"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ken Shyminsky<\/a>, <\/strong>a former vice president of the Greater Toronto Chapter of the Tourette Syndrome Foundation of Canada<\/strong><\/a>, draws upon his personal experiences as an teacher and student with Tourette Syndrome to help children with TS and related disorders. He also has Tourette himself and is the founder of the website Neurologically Gifted<\/strong><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

As an adult who has Tourette Syndrome and associated disorders, I have an intimate understanding of rage<\/b> through experience.\u00a0 I understand the frustration of shouldering the burden of getting through every day filled with tremendous and constant challenges due to my disorders and associated symptoms.<\/p>\n

These demands not only test one\u2019s patience continually, they test one\u2019s ability to be still, to perform routine tasks and even to relax. \u00a0If unable to calm themselves during times of\u00a0 stress, the sufferer may \u201cboil over\u201d emotionally, and release their frustration through angry outbursts. (See our post Mental Health Challenges in Neurological Disorders<\/a><\/strong> for more about stress.)<\/p>\n

People with neurochemical disorders including Tourette Syndrome and ADHD often have a low frustration tolerance.\u00a0 They are usually predisposed to poor self-control in the manner of impulsivity and rage.\u00a0 This is especially true in children with neurological disorders.\u00a0 Children are just learning the coping mechanisms and strategies to assist them with daily struggles due to their disorders as well as managing the common unpredictable stress life brings.<\/p>\n

Dealing with the day-to-day of managing their symptoms (which are always waxing and waning) drains away their mental energy to cope with anything else. They can easily become overburdened with stress.\u00a0 Add to this, an under equipped skill set to calm themselves, and outbursts of rage can occur at even the smallest challenges.<\/p>\n

\"lighteningAt times, the release of this frustration goes beyond the person\u2019s control and the combined behaviors that occur are termed rage. \u00a0<\/b>Specific biochemical and hormonal changes occur within the body and brain including the \u201cflight or fight\u201d response.<\/p>\n

Rational thought, perception and reasoning stop functioning. \u00a0Learned strategies for calming are no longer useful. \u00a0The person will often say or do things they would not have ever thought of doing. \u00a0Often, the person may have no memory or have an altered memory of events that occur during a rage.<\/p>\n

Shame and depression may also follow rages as the person wonders how they could have acted so poorly and so out of control. \u00a0It is important for the individual to recognize that the actions that occur during a rage are beyond their control.<\/p>\n

Feelings of shame post rage will accumulate without this understanding and make the individual more prone to rage. \u00a0It is also important to understand that despite the involuntary nature of rages, there is help, there are strategies and people manage them effectively. \u00a0But how?<\/p>\n

Referring to my own experiences with rage and TS+, I have always believed that an adult is ultimately able to control their rage.\u00a0 Developing the ability to do so requires maturity and the ability to take personal inventory (asking yourself, \u201cHow am I doing right now?\u00a0 How are people reacting to what I am saying?\u201d).<\/p>\n

Children can eventually learn to take control, but it requires a great deal of training and understanding.\u00a0 I believed that with coping mechanisms for stress, strategies for relaxation, self awareness and education, rage could be controlled.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately it is not quite that simple.<\/strong><\/p>\n

My belief that rage could be controlled was seriously challenged a number of years ago when I was asked to counsel an 11-year-old boy who was having up to 20 rages a day at school and home.\u00a0 The child was unable to control himself in any manner.<\/p>\n

At home, he lived with mom and grandmother. The two women supported each other as they were both of poor health and endured the constant challenge of rage and violence in their home. The child was quickly growing and was bigger and heavier than they were. His behavior was unmanageable in both the school and home setting.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, I already had a trusting relationship established with this child.\u00a0 When I met with him to counsel him, we reviewed the problem behaviors at home.\u00a0 As his aggression and violent outbursts were becoming increasingly more dangerous, I warned the child that if he continued to be unsafe, he would be taken from his home and would not be able to live with his family.<\/p>\n

The next two weeks saw a positive change.\u00a0 After that however, he started to re-engage in violent behaviors toward his mother and grandmother.\u00a0 These behaviors continued to become more severe until finally, he attempted to push his grandmother down the stairs.\u00a0 He was immediately removed from his home and spent the next nine months in a residential facility.<\/p>\n

When he was released and returned home, he was able to control his rage.<\/p>\n

So, this eventual success story reinforced my understanding of rage, based on my personal experiences and observations. People who display rage when frustrated are unable to restrain themselves without proper motivation to prevent the rage from occurring in the first place.<\/p>\n

They will continue to express their frustration with rage until they have \u201ccrossed the line\u201d.\u00a0 They will push the limits of others\u2019 tolerance until they surpass those limits.\u00a0 They will \u201cgo too far\u201d.\u00a0 That\u2019s what rage is.\u00a0 They will only learn to prevent themselves from rage after they have gone \u201ctoo far\u201d and suffered the consequences.<\/p>\n

Dozens of times over the past 20-plus years, I have seen examples that support my observation and belief.\u00a0 The story I have shared is extreme, and yet the boy I described did learn to control himself after he was kept in custody. \u00a0It has also been the case in my home, although our \u201climit\u201d wasn\u2019t as serious.\u00a0 Fortunately for us, things didn\u2019t get too far out of control.\u00a0 They easily could have.<\/p>\n

As heartbreaking and scary times had been through my stepson Nathan\u2019s rages, an underlying question directed our responses and our final goal. \u00a0The question \u2013 How can we motivate ourselves, (or our children), to pre-empt the \u201cgoing to far\u201d and gain control over rage before it happens?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"pressure<\/p>\n

Clearly rage triggers a biochemical change in a person which then pre-empts choice, reasoning, rational thinking and self control.\u00a0 On the flip side there are deliberate choices, strategies and coping skills that can be utilized to prevent the onset of a rage.\u00a0 Finding the right timing and the motivation to employ learned skills is an extreme mental challenge requiring practice and tremendous support.<\/p>\n

Stay tuned to Neurologically Gifted for more about RAGE<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

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