I, of course, got excited because, I have to be honest, my kid’s energy and tics this month have hit new highs.<\/span><\/p>\nAfter a good six months of being on the same page with my husband on everything (he’s really been AMAZING since I’ve been back at work) we skipped church today. Instead of worshipping together and enjoying our family, we hung out in the bathroom for 15 minutes, him sitting on the counter, me on the tub. We went round and round… and round and round… about my worries about Stink’s tics and computer love and my husband’s complete confidence that Stink will be fine.<\/span><\/p>\nOn one hand, I’m thrilled someone is not as obsessed and vulnerable about TS in my home. Rex has singlehandedly taken over all drop-off and pick up, play date coordination, food shopping, laundry and teacher meetings so all I need to do is go to work and write. It’s brilliant.<\/span><\/p>\nBut this morning, after the kids lost their computer privileges for arguing and having one too many discussions revolving video games, I’d had it. Rex and I had a very heated discussion which ended with us deciding to drop the issue for the time being.<\/span><\/p>\nSo we did.<\/span><\/p>\nBut I might have dropped him the e-mail below. Because, well, I just care. Too much. I care about my son to the point where I won’t stop fighting for some relief until I have no fight left. And yes, while tics and lack of focus bug me a hell of \u00a0lot more than they bug Stink, as a mama, I just know when something isn’t right. And we have to do something to calm things down so my kid’s brain can be more balanced. I just know we do.<\/span><\/p>\nHi babe –<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nWhile I hate to argue about old stuff, I’m at least glad we talked and left our discussion with a plan. It’s more than we have had in the past.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nThat said, I just want you to understand that I’d be lying if I said I could ever just be “OK” with TS I\u00a0\u00a0will NEVER get over fighting to calm down this beast of TS. I’m sorry – I’m just not done looking for relief – for him and, sadly, for me. I wish that weren’t the case, but it’s true.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nI can accept what I can’t change, but as long as there is something out there that might change this, I have to keep looking and trying.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nI will work on not letting it consume me, but this can only happen if you are part of listening to what i think may or may not work. I get that you don’t want to go broke going after pie-in-the-sky alternatives, but I also need to know that you are open to something if seems reasonable. Unlike before – with Stink’s tics on the rise and all the pressures of middle school looming – I can’t… I won’t… carry the burden alone. To you, it’s not a burden. To me, it’s like carrying an elephant on my back. I’m not up for it.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nSure, I can put the elephant down, but then what? I can’t just let that elephant run wild. It must be led and tamed and be made useful.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nThe good news about my pit bill approach to our family? I will always fight for health, like I did for you and your job. I am not getting up at 5am to commute an hour for work for no reason. I believe YOU can be healthy and happier at home starting your own biz.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nI will take Pip on a walk today and spend time with her as she had kind of a rough weekend. I’d rather, honestly, be meeting Chrissy for coffee and chatting about Christmas plans.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nAnd, leading me back to this e-mail, \u00a0I will never stop trying to find balance for Stink’s brain so he can be the best he can be.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nFor now, today, I’m letting go. I am going to walk and pray and give as much as I can to the Lord because, tics or not, He has an answer for me and will make something out of this struggle. Just look what He did for us? I’m closer to you – I love you – more than I have ever loved you in my life. That is God – that is transformation at work.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nTHANK YOU \u00a0for taking over the video game and homework stuff and being such a strong presence in this family. I trust you.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nAnd I love you.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nAndrea<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nFor those of you out there in similar boat to me, let’s continue to accept the tics we cannot change, change the tics we can, and have the wisdom to know the difference. Let’s love on our kids and our spouses when we can. And let’s support each other. Love trumps tics every single time.<\/p>\n
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