A big issue for me when it comes to writing my book is the increase in my kid’s tics. It’s not that I’m so sad that I can’t form a sentence. It’s that I don’t know what sentence to write to finish the book.
Truth be told, I had really hoped this Ticnoir would have a dramatic story but a shiny happy ending: “Here’s where my life fell apart post-diagnosis… here’s where my marriage hit the skids… here is where my two big writing gigs went away… but here’s where Rex and I fall back in love and I’m content with motherhood and my $42.51/month on Ebay and all Stink’s tics are gone! Woo hoo!”
After a few years dealing with Tourette Syndrome, I had no real illusions that there would be a magic bullet for tics. But after all the diet and all the supplements… after all the good sleeping and trying out meds… I certainly didn’t think the tics would be worse.
And yet, they are. And for the end of a book, that totally blows. It’s like going to a movie about a woman who loses her high paying job and then has a hard time making her mortgage. She has a hard time feeding her kids and her husband gets sick with MS.
But then, a la It’s A Wonderful Life, the community pitches in. In the last scene of the movie she gets a ton of cash from her church and some fat kid gives her the last nickel in his piggy back. This woman not only saves her house, but has enough funding left over to re-do her kitchen. Her husband was misdiagnosed and her kids have more organic food than they know what to with! There are cheers and shouts and tears of joy! But then, in the last scene, some thug socks her over the head on the subway and steals her huge wad of cash. Her husband gets squashed by a Gremlin and she and her kids go homeless, eating 99-cent store Mac N Cheese forever. The End.
Who wants that kind of ending?
I suppose, in a way, this is my apology to you: Sorry, suckers. I coudln’t fix your kid’s TS. You can stop reading now. But again, and I mean this (waaaay deep down): Enter whisper: “If you can’t fix the tics… fix yourself.”
I’m trying. I really am. And for what it’s worth, I’m supporting you along your way.
The Bottom Line: Does everything we do to help our kids through diet and healthy choices and meds (if needed) help? Yes. I do believe it does. I believe it could be far worse without it.
The Truth: 10 years old is hard for any kid – especially kids with tics. But this is a season.
Even Better: I’m not in the emotional toilet. As I tell my blog friend, Margaret, “I am not in the bell jar.” Ring ring ring the bell! Maybe that’s the happy ending. That I’m learning to roll with life and never give up. I’m learning to… enter my other theme, “Accept the tics I cannot change, change the tics I can, and have the wisdom to know the difference.”
Hang tight, all!
Robyn,
We’d love to invite you to blog with us. If you’re interested, please send an e-mail to parents@njcts.org. Thanks!
Thank you. That means a lot. I am sorry you are going through a rough time, but hang in there. There IS a lot out there to help our kids. For now, we need to help ourselves by supporting each other so we can focus on our kids’ gifts, not just their tics.
I read your latest blog & I can truly say, I know exactly where your coming from on most of it!! My daughter Bailee, is 8yrs old, & she has Tourette’s Plus & I swear, the past 2 months have been the worst we have seen!! Her tics are worse & she is getting more at the same time, her ADD is bad & causing issues at school & now her OCD is out of control & become just as big of a problem at school, as it is at home. I have had such a huge feeling of helplessness myself. And trying to maintain ur relationship w/all that, is a mine filled.
I do have to remind myself that there isn’t always going to be a happy ending, especially with TS. But as we go along with our TS children, if we can help them the best we can, learn from them, & try to help others thru our story, good, bad, or otherwise, that’s more help than we know. Cuz if nothing else, you might give some advice that are at the start, or in the middle. But at the end, you & your son are still there & I know I at least got something from it!!!