I wrote this about 10 years ago, shortly after my son was diagnosed. We’ve come a long way since then. At 17, he barely tics, the RAGE is gone and he’s doing well in school. I hope that this shows that you are not alone in the struggles that you face. Know that there is light at the end of the tunnel….
“Why do you keep on clearing your throat? Are you feeling sick?” I would say.
And so, it continued…again and again.
Day after day after day.
Then, one day it stopped…and then you began
shrugging and jerking your head.
And then, you started hurting yourself
and picking your nails ’til they bled.
The blinking is hard; it’s like a strobe light
is flashing in front of your eyes.
I can’t seem to calm you, when you get upset,
no matter how hard I try.
Mothers all want to take care of their kids
and give what they need everyday…
to kiss all their boo-boos, whenever their hurt,
and make all the pain go away.
Oh, how I wish I could magically fix
all the things that are so hard for you.
I’m so sorry to say, my sweet special child,
that is something I just cannot do.
But, I’ll always be here, whatever you need.
I’ll give comfort when your poor heart aches.
And I promise I’ll always give you my best,
though I know I will make some mistakes.
Remember, we’re in this together
and through the years, we both will grow.
I know you’ll do fine, my dear child…
and I love you, more than you know.