52 Weeks of TS: Week 10

EDITOR’S NOTE: Each Tuesday, noted Tourette Syndrome advocate Troye Evers will share his “52 Weeks of TS” blog journal with the TSParentsOnline community. In cased you missed the first 9 weeks, you can read them here. For more information about Troye, please click on his name or visit his website.

It’s Sunday morning, 9:30, oops I guess it’s 10:30 with daylight savings time.  Now I have to go around my house and change all the clocks, but I’m putting it off.  At least I’m going to try, but it will annoy me until they are all the right time.  I’m very tired and in pain, it was a rough night.  My husband and I got home last night around 10:00 pm.

The first thing I do when I get home is go into my bedroom and say “hi” to my kitties, my loves. I walked into my bedroom and found one of the cats on the floor playing with something, which is not unusual.  I figured it was a piece of one of my plants that dried up and fell off.  I started to bend down to say hi, and take the leaf from her.  IT WAS NOT A LEAF!!

I stood up, froze and screamed for my husband as the cat batted around a still live but injured mouse the size of a quarter.  He was so small and yes, somewhat cute, but are you serious?!  I clean, and clean my house, I have three cats, and there should be no reason that there is a mouse in my house.  I know it came from my downstairs neighbor, but it is in my house now, in my cat’s mouth.  She continued playing with it, until she let it go and it ran under the TV stand.

The cats continued stalking the mouse in the bedroom.  Instead of going to sleep, I went into the living room to try to watch TV and relax.  It was too late to relax, my anxiety level is through the roof and all my tics were here to say hello.  For the next two hours, I had my husband check to see if they caught it or not, while I flung my neck around and bashed my elbow into my ribs.

My husband kept saying, “Relax, it’s only a mouse.”  Yeah, I know that, I’m not an idiot.

It’s not that I’m afraid of some small little mouse, as I said it was somewhat cute.  The fact is, do you know how many germs and diseases mice have?  It is being tossed around my bedroom like a cat toy, and in the cat’s paws and mouths.  In my mind, the only solution is to move, lol.

After my ribs started hurting from bashing them with my elbow, and seconds away from giving myself whiplash, I took a Klonopin.  It didn’t help that much, I just wanted to go to bed, but was afraid that the cats were going to leave a present in my bed.  One of the cats soon came out and wanted attention. HELL NO!  Get away from me with your germ infested mouth and paws.

By this point, I really had to use the bathroom, and go to bed.  I sent my husband in one more time to check.  I told him to check the bed and make sure there were no gifts left for us. He went into the bedroom, he was in there for a few minutes, which had me concerned.  What was he doing?  I started to creep down the hallway to see the door was closed.  He came out, and said, “You don’t want to go in there”.  Oh god, now what?

He walked into the bathroom, then back into the bedroom, and came out with a crumpled up tissue.  He flushed the tissue and looked at me.  “All good, the mouse is gone.”  NOOOOOO!  I had to go pee, there is no way I’m peeing in the mouse toilet.  I finally did make it to bed, but I have not touched the toilet, my cats or my husband, and now my side and neck are tight and sore..  What a night!

Besides that, this week was a pretty normal week, a tic tic here, a tic tic there, everywhere a tic tic.  Seriously, it was a good week.  Spring is on its way with its beautiful weather.  One day this week, the temperature reached the high sixties and sunny.  I love when we can put the big coats away and walk around in a t-shirt, feeling the air and sun on your skin, but that’s all I want to feel on my skin.

New York City is home to over 8 million people who don’t like to watch where they are going, just bump, and rub up against you.  I’m not one of those New Yorkers who is worried about being mugged and carries around a bottle of mace.  I carry around a mini bottle of Lysol, and believe me, if it were acceptable, I would spray all 8 million people.

I do love spring, but I have noticed something.  As soon as the jacket comes off, I feel much more on display.  It’s almost as if my coat was my shield, and without it, people can really see my shoulder tics.  I am constantly walking around looking at people to see if they’re looking at me.

Even though I don’t really see people looking, I still feel the heavy stares and pointing. Why do I let it get to me? I don’t know.  In all actuality I have brought on many of the stares myself, I’m basically covered in tattoos and giving people reason to stare.

I have spent so many years trying to stay under the radar with my TS, but I have covered myself with tattoos, giving people reason to look at me.  Was this a subconscious thing that I did to say here I am, look at me?  Look at me, look at my tics, and see me for who I am.  I don’t know, but guess what, here I am, watch me tic.

I guess this week, I am going to gather the strength to love my kitties.  Hey, they did do their job, but how do I teach them to finish the job before I get home? Lol. Hope you have a great week, until next week, “I’ll tic to you later.”

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