{"id":873,"date":"2012-06-07T08:00:37","date_gmt":"2012-06-07T12:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/?p=873"},"modified":"2012-06-07T08:00:37","modified_gmt":"2012-06-07T12:00:37","slug":"my-scholarship-essay-who-i-am","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/my-scholarship-essay-who-i-am\/","title":{"rendered":"My scholarship essay: “Who I Am”"},"content":{"rendered":"
This is the essay I submitted to the New Jersey Center for Tourette Syndrome for their 2012 Children\u2019s Scholars<\/em>hip Award contest. I hope you enjoy it! And here is my profile<\/a><\/strong> on the NJCTS website.<\/em><\/p>\n Why are you doing that?<\/p>\n Stop making that noise, it’s really annoying.<\/p>\n What do you mean you can’t help it?<\/p>\n Those were the words that made my heart drop to my stomach and feel sick. These words would make me go into a state of panic that the whole world was judging me. I was only 10 years old, what was I supposed to say?<\/p>\n “Oh, sorry<\/em>, I have a neurological disorder characterized by multiple physical and vocal tics that I can’t control.”<\/p>\n Instead, I would hang my head and just mumble, “Oh, sorry<\/em>.”<\/p>\n The comments about my Tourette Syndrome made me uncomfortable, but the names were even worse. This one boy in middle school would call me Twitchy all the time. I was so scared to walk past him in the hallway, in fear that he would call me out in front of my friends.<\/p>\n Only a select few of them knew about my Tourette, and I intended to keep it that way. I was humiliated and ashamed that I had something about me that made me stick out. Not only that, but this specific disorder makes it hard to hide.<\/p>\n Over the years, I came up with solutions, though:<\/p>\n I tried desperately<\/em> to hide it.<\/p>\n It’s been almost 10 years since I was diagnosed with this disorder, and it only took me that long to realize that I shouldn’t have to hide it. Here I am, almost 10 years later, and my tics are barely noticeable to my friends. When brought up in conversation, I’ll hear, “What?I couldn’t even tell!” This is because as I got older, my serious tics became mild, and I’ve learned to control them.<\/p>\n Looking back, I realize I’ve made one huge mistake: When people would ask why I would make such silly movements or odd sounds, I should have said, “I have Tourette,” instead of saying, “I’m sorry.”<\/p>\n Can you imagine? I was apologizing for something I couldn’t help. I was asking for forgiveneess from people who wondered why I had something that made me different. They would question the one thing that I was the most insecure about — the one thing I couldn’t change about myself. At least now I know that I say sorry for a lot of things, but I won’t say sorry for who I am.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This is the essay I submitted to the New Jersey Center for Tourette Syndrome for their 2012 Children\u2019s Scholarship Award contest. I hope you enjoy it! And here is my profile on the NJCTS website. Why are you doing that?… Continue Reading \n