{"id":5360,"date":"2020-07-02T15:02:57","date_gmt":"2020-07-02T15:02:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/?p=5360"},"modified":"2020-07-22T14:19:14","modified_gmt":"2020-07-22T14:19:14","slug":"being-different-emma-m","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/being-different-emma-m\/","title":{"rendered":"Being Different – Emma M."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Emma was a winner of a 2020 NJCTS Scholarship Award. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was the essay she included with her application<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have you ever gotten nervous when finishing a timed test that you start panicking? Or have something in your eye so you blink excessively? Well these are some everyday occurrences for me. I have tourettes syndrome. Tourette’s syndrome is vocal and non vocal tics that happen uncontrollably to a person. Mine usually act up around a stressful time. Sometimes when I’m excited about something or just because. There is no cure for tourettes but anxiety and tics go hand and hand with one another. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In 3rd grade I had awful separation anxiety towards my mom. So bad that I had to call her 3 times a day just to check in. I ate lunch with my guidance counselor everyday and left school at 2:30 by the time I was in 6th grade. That’s when I was diagnosed with tourettes. I didn’t have much knowledge about this syndrome only being 11 at the time, but my mom and I would read about it and it started making sense why I would do certain things. When I was around 9, my dad had a stroke. This was very scary since he was only 39 years old. He was hospitalized for a few nights and he wasn’t about to speak for 2 of them. Once he got his voice back I was paranoid I would lose mine since I was always worried about something. Everyday I would “check” my voice by humming a little tune. This would turn to 3 times a day to 7 and quickly escalated to every minute. My mom just thought it was a fase but when it didn’t stop she worried. I would go to a therapist every week and one of the times I saw a doctor she spoke to my parents about tourettes and diagnosed me. Later on in 7th and 8th grade 2 guest speakers came into our school with a presentation on tourettes explaining what is it. In 8th grade was when my tics were at their worst. I missed school all the time because I would get no sleep at night and during the day I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I was also so embarrassed from having these noises happen that I never wanted to be around anyone. My guidance counselor thought it would be a good idea to tell my teachers and classmates about it that way no one would ask me about it. I went back to school about 2 weeks later so nervous. When I walked into my first class, no one looked at me in a different way and no one made fun of me like I thought they would. To me this was a breaking point. I was no longer scared to be in front of people or worried if I told people they would look at me differently. Fast forward to high school, I no longer cared if people asked me why I made noises or if I had tourettes. I made jokes about it and moved on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This definitely had a huge impact on my life because I would separate myself from everyone or not hang with my friends because I was so embarrassed. I missed school for this as well until I learned to not care what people think. I also learned that sometimes you make a bigger deal over something then it actually is. Once I told someone about it they would ask a few questions then move on instead of what I thought it would be a way for me to be bullied. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now that I am a senior in high school a lot is on my shoulders, School, jobs, my future. I get stressed out very easily. Having dealt with my anxiety in the past, I’ve learned to control it. I now look back at my childhood and wonder why I cared so much about others because really everyone is just trying to get by in this big scary. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Emma was a winner of a 2020 NJCTS Scholarship Award.  This was the essay she included with her application. Have you ever gotten nervous when finishing a timed test that you start panicking? Or have something in your eye so… Continue Reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":530,"featured_media":5372,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[7,375,11],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nBeing Different by Emma M. - Teens4TS<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Tourette's syndrome is vocal and non vocal tics that happen uncontrollably to a person. 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