{"id":5077,"date":"2018-06-19T08:00:30","date_gmt":"2018-06-19T08:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/?p=5077"},"modified":"2018-06-20T18:55:17","modified_gmt":"2018-06-20T18:55:17","slug":"what-makes-me-tick-hallie-hoffman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/what-makes-me-tick-hallie-hoffman\/","title":{"rendered":"What Makes Me Tic(k) – Hallie Hoffman"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hallie is a first place winner of the 2018 NJCTS Scholarship Award and a Youth Advocate of the Year. This is the essay she submitted with her scholarship application.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Like many kids, I wished that I had magical powers. I wished that if I blinked hard
\nenough, I could stop time, and if I stuck my tongue out, I could fly. If I sniffed, I would turn
\ninvisible, and if I twitched my neck, objects would levitate around me. That would make
\neverything worth it. Because unlike other kids, I was already blinking and sticking my tongue
\nout and sniffing and twitching my neck, and I could not help it. There was no magic, and no
\nsuperpowers, just a constant uncontrollable urge to move certain ways and make certain noises.
\nHaving Tourette Syndrome did not feel very magical.<\/p>\n

The only powers that seemed to come from blinking were tripping down stairs and falling
\noff my bicycle because my eyes were closed. My sniffing had the curious effect of people
\nconstantly asking, \u201cWould you like a tissue?\u201d When all I wanted was to blend in, these strange
\ntics immediately made me the center of attention. I was not trying to be mean or annoying, but
\nthe kids in my class did not know that, and neither did my teachers.<\/p>\n

This is my not-so-secret secret identity. My brain works differently than it is supposed to,
\nand just like an itch, my body cannot relax until I tic. But this happens over and over, every
\nminute, every day. As a naturally shy kid, I did my best to find ways to look normal. I sniffed
\nbecause I had \u201callergies\u201d and blinked because there was \u201csomething in my eye.\u201d I masked the
\ntwitching of my neck, arms, and legs by stretching or reaching for something. But blending in
\nwas exhausting, and I felt like I was lying to my friends and to myself. In middle school, I
\nreached a turning point. For the first time in my life, I stopped hiding and accepted my tics as
\npart of me. I discovered that I was proud of myself\u2014even with Tourette Syndrome\u2014and I
\nwanted to tell the world.<\/p>\n

As soon as I realized what it felt like to speak out, there was no going back, and I finally
\nunderstood the power I have as someone who is different. I wanted to share my confidence with
\nother people, especially those dealing with similar issues. In ninth grade, I was invited to my first
\npresentation in a nearby middle school where a fifth-grade boy had Tourette\u2019s and was afraid to
\ntell his class. After my presentation, he announced, \u201cI have Tourette Syndrome, too!\u201d In the
\nprocess of accepting myself, I had helped someone else find the courage to do the same.<\/p>\n

I still have bad days when I wish my brain was normal. I do not always correct people
\nwhen they ask if I am sick or tell me they have allergies too. It is not because I am embarrassed
\nor ashamed\u2014I just get tired of explaining myself. I have headaches from blinking too much
\nsometimes, and my wrists and ankles often hurt from cracking them. Yet as much as Tourette\u2019s is
\na challenge, it has helped me find my voice and realize that I never want to hide who I truly am. I
\nlove the person I am today because of my struggles. I push myself harder because I have more to
\novercome, and I care more deeply about other people because I know what it is like to feel
\ndifferent. Having Tourette Syndrome has empowered this shy little girl to become a strong young
\nwoman\u2014an advocate, a speaker, a leader\u2014and I would not be me without it.<\/p>\n

So perhaps my tics do not allow me to stop time or fly or turn invisible or levitate objects,
\nbut Tourette Syndrome has given me the unique power of finding my voice and helping other
\npeople find theirs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hallie is a first place winner of the 2018 NJCTS Scholarship Award and a Youth Advocate of the Year. This is the essay she submitted with her scholarship application.\u00a0 Like many kids, I wished that I had magical powers. I… Continue Reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":524,"featured_media":5079,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[7,375,11],"tags":[25,38,359],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Makes Me Tic(k) - Hallie Hoffman - Teens4TS<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Hallie is a first place winner of the 2018 NJCTS Scholarship Award and a Youth Advocate of the Year. 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