{"id":4040,"date":"2015-06-05T09:23:39","date_gmt":"2015-06-05T13:23:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/?p=4040"},"modified":"2015-06-05T09:23:39","modified_gmt":"2015-06-05T13:23:39","slug":"2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background\/","title":{"rendered":"2015 NJCTS Youth Scholarship Award Essay \u201cMAGGIE tics quietly in the background\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is the essay I submitted to the NJ Center for Tourette Syndrome & Associated Disorders (NJCTS<\/strong><\/a>) for their 2015 Children\u2019s Scholarship Award contest. I hope you enjoy it!<\/em><\/p>\n

\"MargaretE\"<\/a>

MargaretE<\/p><\/div>\n

Sometimes, to make it stop, I say Val’s monologue from A Chorus Line<\/em>. Other\u00a0times, I translate the prologue from Romeo and Juliet<\/em> into French: deux maisons, plus<\/em><\/p>\n

similaire en dignit\u00e9, en la V\u00e9rone<\/em> belle ou nous poser notre sc\u00e8ne<\/em>… I bought a Tangle to\u00a0stop my arms, and before that, I used Silly Putty. Lots and lots of Silly Putty.<\/p>\n

I was diagnosed with anxiety, ADHD, and Tourette’s Syndrome when I was\u00a0fourteen years old, after I developed a vocal tic resembling hiccups that began to disrupt\u00a0my classes. Tourette’s is defined in the Fifth Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical\u00a0Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) as a chronic tic disorder wherein multiple motor\u00a0and vocal tics have persisted for more than one year. Motor tics include things such as\u00a0blinking, shrugging, or jerking limbs, and vocal tics can include things as simple as\u00a0clearing the throat, but can also include full words and other complex vocal tics.\u00a0Tourette’s often comes with a myriad of other comorbid disorders-like OCD, Anxiety,\u00a0ADHD, and Bipolar Disorder.<\/p>\n

The thing about living with Tourette’s Syndrome is that it makes me feel out of<\/p>\n

control. I can’t stop my neck from contorting into uncomfortable angles. I can’t keep<\/p>\n

myself from screaming. I can’t just not tic<\/em>.<\/p>\n

When I hear the phrase “you can’t”, I take it as a personal challenge. There are\u00a0very few things we as\u00a0people truly “can’t” do\u2014most of the time, people misconstrue “I\u00a0can’t”\u00a0to be synonymous with “I don’t want to”. There is so much in my past I didn’t\u00a0want to do that I eventually overcame\u2014I didn’t want to interact with other people because\u00a0I was scared that I would be judged, but eventually I overcame social anxiety. I didn’t\u00a0want to deal with having panic attacks because I thought it was too hard, but eventually I\u00a0learned techniques to handle them better. I didn’t want to work through my ADHD\u00a0because it was easier to let it be an excuse, but I managed to let go of my distractions and\u00a0perfectionism. After all of this, I thought I’d kicked the phrase “I can’t” out of my\u00a0vocabulary. But, it turns out, I can’t just stop ticcing.<\/p>\n

Tics can be repressed for periods of time, but it can lead to increased tic activity\u00a0later on. This means that the best method for keeping tics at bay is distraction. Like I said\u00a0before, fidget toys and monologues are incredibly helpful, but the best method I have\u00a0found for stopping my tics has been by far the simplest\u2014being happy.<\/p>\n

When I sing, I feel absolutely free. When you try to belt, you have to provide a\u00a0certain amount of breath support to keep from straining your voice. It’s hard, but when\u00a0you do it right it’s the best feeling in the entire world.<\/p>\n

When I’m acting, I’m no longer myself. I’m living another life, in another world,\u00a0that always has a script. And (usually) that script doesn’t include “MAGGIE tics quietly in the background”.<\/p>\n

When I’m with my friends, no one’s going to judge me. When I’m expressing\u00a0myself, when I’m having fun, I’m not worried about when I’m going to tic next. My\u00a0focus is so far away from my Tourette’s, it’s almost like I’m how I was before my\u00a0diagnosis-when there was nothing I couldn’t do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is the essay I submitted to the NJ Center for Tourette Syndrome & Associated Disorders (NJCTS) for their 2015 Children\u2019s Scholarship Award contest. I hope you enjoy it! Sometimes, to make it stop, I say Val’s monologue from A… Continue Reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":488,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[18,22,29,116,212,264,314],"yoast_head":"\n2015 NJCTS Youth Scholarship Award Essay \u201cMAGGIE tics quietly in the background\u201d - Teens4TS<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This is the essay I submitted to the NJ Center for Tourette Syndrome & Associated Disorders (NJCTS) for their 2015 Children\u2019s Scholarship Award\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"2015 NJCTS Youth Scholarship Award Essay \u201cMAGGIE tics quietly in the background\u201d\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is the essay I submitted to the NJ Center for Tourette Syndrome & Associated Disorders (NJCTS) for their 2015 Children\u2019s Scholarship Award\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Teens4TS\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-06-05T13:23:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Esposito-Margaret-Photo-300x297.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"MargaretE\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"MargaretE\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"MargaretE\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/#\/schema\/person\/54267be6bd963a3214631a5a63e5aadf\"},\"headline\":\"2015 NJCTS Youth Scholarship Award Essay \u201cMAGGIE tics quietly in the background\u201d\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-06-05T13:23:39+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-06-05T13:23:39+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background\/\"},\"wordCount\":611,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Esposito-Margaret-Photo-300x297.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Acceptance\",\"ADHD\",\"Anxiety\",\"Essays\",\"NJCTS\",\"Scholarships\",\"Tics\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Teens\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/njcts.org\/teens4ts\/2015-njcts-childrens-scholarship-award-essay-maggie-tics-quietly-in-the-background\/\",\"name\":\"2015 NJCTS Youth Scholarship Award Essay \u201cMAGGIE tics quietly in the background\u201d - 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