Don’t ask for a light load, but rather ask for a strong back.
Hey everyone. All of you have been wanting a picture of me from homecoming, but I would like to tell you all what really happened first. I said I had a great time, but the truth is, I had an OK time…for the first half of the dance. I’ll explain why.
I went with my best friend, Ana. I was excited about the dance and everything. I was also extremely nervous because of all the people that were going to be there. We both got help with our hair and makeup from Ana’s sister. I loved and still love my dress that I chose for the dance. I felt like a flapper from the 1920s. *Hint, that’s what I’m going to be for Halloween.*
Anyway, we get there, and all the tables seemed to be taken. I challenged my social anxiety and succeeded by asking some girls if the other seats of the table were taken. The girls seemed to be anti-social and had sat through the whole dance. I felt bad for them because they chose to sit around and not do anything when they could have danced and had a good time.
I, again, tried to show my social anxiety who was boss and went out and danced. Ana came with me and it took her a couple dances to get used to dancing with me. I was embarrassed, too, but I wasn’t going to sit around waiting for something to happen.
I had my eye on a guy who seemed to have brought a date, but I wasn’t quite sure. He also seemed to be a chaperone. The whole dance, I hoped he would ask me to dance. That never happened. No one asked me to dance actually. That’s what got depressing. I tried thinking positive, but I started feeling uglier and uglier throughout the night. I also felt invisible since I kept getting bumped into a lot.
My self-esteem just got shot down. I almost lost the energy to dance. But Ana and I made a friend at the dance. She was very nice and actually helped me get through the rest of the dance…until the slow dances, of course. But she gave me good advice.
It was a Christian homecoming dance, which I didn’t know until I got one of their e-mails before the dance about dress code. But they only played one Christian song and the rest were either oldies music or modern music. We did the Cupid Shuffle, Macarena, Cha-Cha Slide, Electric Slide, etc. The dances were fun. I love music from the 30s, 40s and so forth as well.
Once Ana and I were getting picked up by her sister and her sister’s boyfriend, I just wanted to leave. I felt on the brink of tears again. I felt on the brink of tears in the middle of the dance, which lead me to vent to my new friend. I pretended that I had a good time in front of Ana’s sister and her sister’s boyfriend because they were so excited for us. I didn’t want to let them down. Once we got in the car and we were on the road back to the hotel, I let myself silently cry without anyone noticing.
Ana knew of my depression, but she didn’t necessarily understand how hard it was for me. She was sort of depressed because no one danced with her either, but she doesn’t have bad depression or any depression at all. So I also acted in front of her mom. I didn’t even let my parents know the truth until I got home. I didn’t want anyone to be let down. I wish that I had a great time at my first dance, but it just wasn’t meant to be great or good.
The next day was just terrible, but that’s a very long story. So I will just say that I was glad to get home so I could vent, cry and relax. I didn’t even tic until the end of the dance, surprisingly. I am still trying to get back to normal. I am not really suicidal, but I am pondering about life at the moment. My family members really helped me lessen my wondering.
The positives about homecoming: Our new friend, great desserts, Louis Tomlinson’s twin (I swear he was just like him, suspenders and everything!), Liam Payne’s twin (Ana never saw him, but I saw him everywhere I went), the funniest dancer ever who could do a front-flip and a split right after, great songs, cute guys and no ticcing.
Thank you guys for listening to my story. I will try and put up a link to a picture of me and my friend together on here: https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/383452_10151050181032531_1306595822_n.jpg.
There ya’ll go. Hope you all have a wonderful day! 🙂