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Stressing over school and medication

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”

~ Frederick Douglass

Hello everyone! This my first real post. I’m so excited to be a part of this blog. So, this past week has been extra stressful for me. School has been a drag. Since I am home-schooled online, I have to talk to my teachers over the phone. We have these assignments called DBA’s (Discussion-Based Assessments). The teachers talk to you about the material that you learned and ask you questions.

I am always nervous because of my social anxiety. If I have to talk to a male teacher, then my nerves are higher. I have two DBA’s to get done before midnight tonight. For a while now, when I got really agitated or extremely nervous, my tics were very strong. When I’m not feeling that way, they only come up once in a while.

Also, math is my worst subject. I am learning Geometry this year, and it has been a pain in the neck for months now. But, I will make it through. If I could get through Algebra 1 with a lot of struggling, I can do this.

School is not the only stress I’ve been having. Medication has been also. I keep forgetting to take it. It’s an on-and-off situation. A long time ago, I believe it was two years ago, I decided to stop taking Zoloft because I hated pills. I wanted nothing to do with medication overall.

I lied about forgetting to take it. My body reacted to having no Zoloft in my system, and my emotions went up and down. I was crying for no reason on some days. My moms couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. Finally, my second mom counted the pills in my Zoloft bottle. I had only taken seven pills in two months.

My parents watched me take my medicine for weeks until they trusted me again. I felt like I was in jail. I learned my lesson from then on. But, again, I have actually been forgetting to take the pills and it is causing depression. So, I am working on getting back into a normal habit to take Zoloft.

I also have not been getting good sleep that past week and a half. It’s because I keep having nightmares or waking up automatically. This causes my focus to go astray which makes my tics worse. Like this morning, I was sleeping good until 5:40 a.m. I couldn’t go back to sleep, and I have been up since then.

But even with all this stress, I still look forward to the breaks that I have and the family that supports me. I am pushing through the obstacles — slowly, but surely. Progress is being made.

For those of you who are feeling stressed, remember that there is always a silver lining. Even if you can’t see it now, you will sooner or later. You can make it through the hard times. You are stronger than you think. I hope you all have a relaxing week! 🙂

RowenaM

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