I have been living with a tic disorder for over 10 years now. I have had to cope with eye blinking, nose scrunching, and neck jerking movements over the years. When I was little, I would have weeks experiencing these symptoms followed by months free of tics. I would never know when my tics would come or when I would feel relieved.
Having tics means I do not have control over my body. It is an unsettling feeling and my loved ones around me are impacted. My mom, being my biggest advocate, wanted to find me support to help deal with the symptoms. She then found the NJCTS and here is where I found a place where peers understand what life can be like. We also were able to find a therapist that helped me handle my symptoms and talk about my anxious feelings that may exacerbate the tics.
Although the therapy helped, I still wanted to find an additional outlet to relieve my symptoms where I could just be myself and not have to worry about having tic development. This is where in middle school my mom signed me up for track. I was not a runner and at first was hesitant to start. I didn’t know anyone on the track team and never ran competitively in my life. I almost did not even make my first try out, especially because I was having tics on that day. I really just wanted to go home and forget about my symptoms. But I ended up going to the try out as my mom was really hoping that getting exercise and moving my body will help the tics subside, and at that point I just really wanted to try to help my tics go away.
When I started to run, I realized I didn’t feel my tics. All I felt was my feet touching the ground and the movement of my legs. I no longer was focused on my tics. All my energy and focus was on the distance I was running and getting to the finish line. The feeling I got having my focus and attention on something other than my tics was the best. I felt relieved, hopeful, and focused. I started to set personal goals for myself and concentrated on achieving the goals. I made friends and became close with my track coaches who always encouraged me to help me do better.
I am now in high school in my junior year. I have been in track and cross country now for 5 years. It truly is the best decision not only for my tics but for my lifestyle. I feel healthier, stronger and built great friendships. When I am running, I forget about my tics and my worries and just focus on the pounding of the pavement and achieving my personal best. Living with tics can be tough but if you can find a way to better manage the symptoms like joining a sport like track it can provide the escape that people with tics need. I hope to continue running in college and throughout my life. I truly think I found an outlet to help relieve my symptoms and wish that everyone with tics can find an activity or hobby that does the same for them.
Kadin Mago is a member of the NJCTS Youth Council, and a TS Advocate and mentor.
