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Not worrying about friends judging my tics

So I know my past couple of posts have been on the more negative side, talking about how my tics have been bad so far this semester and how I’m fed up with it. So I decided it’s time for a more positive post!

Anyway, a little while ago (the summer after my freshman year of college) I wrote about my friend Ivy. For those of you who didn’t read that post, I’ll summarize it here.

Basically, my freshman year I started a two-year freshman program about the mind and brain. It’s basically an intro program for my major. In that class, I ticced a lot, just like I did in every other class. Freshman year I didn’t really tell my classes about my TS because I was too afraid to. So once people noticed something was wrong, they usually tended to take one of two positions.

They either stared at me in a very obvious way or ignored me so as not to get caught staring. However, in my mind brain program there was this one girl who kept making it a point to sit next to me every day. I didn’t really notice though until one day she decided to start talking to me.

The first time she talked to me I thought she was talking to someone else, so the first time she said hi to me and tried talking to me I pretty much ignored her because I thought she was talking to someone else! LOL! Then she kept persisting, and I realized she was talking to me, and I responded and started talking to her as well.

Since freshman year, we’ve become friends. We’ve met up to do¬† lunch and dinner together quite a few times. We’ve had other classes together, considering we’re the same major. And we’ve kept in touch, at some points more than others; but nonetheless, we’ve remained friends.

Last summer, I told her briefly about my TS and about Camp Twitch and Shout, and she told me she has an older brother who has autism and is nonverbal. I know a lot about autism since I’ve worked with autistic children quite a lot as a result of my senior project with a class of high-functioning autistic middle school students and my mom’s job at a special school. In fact, I’m soon going to start helping out with their Friday after school social skills group this semester!

Anyway, back to the point of this post. Ivy texted me about a week ago asking me if I would want to room with her and her suitemate next year. In the text she said that she thinks I would be a really nice person to live with and rooming together would work really well!

My two other suitemates from this year — who I’m very close to — and I all want to stay together, so we’ve decided on a preliminary plan of having the 5 of us (Ivy, her suitemate, me and my two suitemates) room together in an on-campus apartment! I’m very excited about this idea and can’t wait to room with Ivy and her friend.

We’re going to meet on Sunday morning as a group so that the people in the group who haven’t met yet can meet and so we can discuss things in person. I think it will be really great to live with Ivy, her friend and my two other friends. I think we’ll all get along really well, and in particular I’m excited to get even closer with Ivy.

The only thing I’m worried about, though, is that Ivy has never seen my tics to their full extent. I worry that she will have a different opinion of me once she sees my tics in full force. But then I just think how my good friends who I have now have all seen my tics in full force.

They all at one point had never met a person with Tourette’s and now they just ignore my tics and see them as something that’s just normal. I think if anyone would be the kind of person to accept my tics, it would be Ivy. Even though I’m worried about it, I know in reality that Ivy and her friend will both get used to my tics fairly quickly, just like everyone else has.

And once they get used to my tics, they will see me for who I am and not for my tics. They will see my tics as just one small part of me and get to know the person I really am. Even though I don’t yet know Ivy’s roommate, I trust that she is a good and accepting person. I could never imagine Ivy being friends with anyone who is not this kind of person. I think this will only bring new friendships and more support into my life. That I am excited for!

RuthieP

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