“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”
I’ve decided to post a collection of all my poetry from Twitch and Jerk. I am starting at the beginning from when I founded TaJ. Here they are, in three parts. The first part is from the beginning through June 2011. The second part is July-December 2011. And the third part is January 2012 through now. I hope you enjoy them. :)
July 1, 2011:
Do not give up. Do not give in. We will not let fear win. You are stronger than you think you are. Your difference from the world will get you far. Achieving your goals to get to your dream. Your heart is bright golden beam. Believe you are special as of today. When there is a will, there is a way.
July 13, 2011:
You are beautiful. You are perfect just the way you are. Those who say differently don’t understand. You are unique, magnificent. You are a rainbow on a rainy day. Sunshine on a cloudy day. Breeze on a hot day. Warmth on a cold day. Who needs normal when the world has beautiful differences?
July 28, 2011:
You are beautiful.
On the inside and the out.
Celebrate your growth.
July 29, 2011:
Live life the way you want it to be. Achieve little goals to fulfill your big dreams. Don’t let doubt, fear, or anxiety get in the way. You can do anything. Whatever you give out, you will receive in a matter of time. Believe in yourself and others around you. You are/ will be loved for who you are. Be the sunshine. Show your gold. You are priceless.
August 8, 2011:
My breath. I listen to it. In and out it goes. My heart beating. Like a wave moving at a steady rate. Then, there it is. That disturbance in the wave. A tic. Happens often. At first, it hurts. It makes me feel little. Helpless. Weak. Then, it does something unexpected. It changes me. It makes me stronger. Now, my tics are apart of my breathing. My heartbeat. It is now my life.
August 13, 2011:
I made a poem for my best friend who thinks she is ugly when she isn’t:
Your eyes sparkle and shine through your glasses. Your beauty is as soft as a pillow. Your kindness is a major part of you. You are beautiful on the inside and out. Never let doubt fill your mind. Your heart is filled with love to give. Keep believing. You are a true friend.
August 22, 2011:
Love. What is love anyway?Is it a game people play? Is it just a word everyone uses? Is it an evil way of slaying others’ hearts? What I think love is. My way of love is support. Family. Being there for someone no matter what happens. Caring for someone in need. Showing someone how much you care by actions not just words. That is love in my eyes.
August 27, 2011:
Tourette’s is my sunlight. It can shine down on the good. It can burn with pain. My meds are my sunblock so I don’t get burned too bad. But, I mainly look on the good side of it. It changed me into the person I am today. It made me better. I see things in a different perspective. And for that, I am grateful.
September 8, 2011:
As I look out my window in pain and regret, forgetting about the good things that I get. My mind becomes negative surely and quickly. The thoughts and the tics become awful and sickly. My mom coming in, in worry and concern. Telling me she wishes Tourette’s could be returned. But, just seeing her face makes me happy inside. For, she is the reason why I am alive.
September 23, 2011:
My fans. What are they to me? They are my family. My guide in life. My night star. Many are parents who have kids with TS who they would do anything for. Many are parents with TS themselves. Some are kids with TS who feel they can be themselves. Some are teens who just need someone to talk to, whether they have TS or not. So much variety. Without them, this page would be nothing. I would be lost. For, it is them who I highly respect.
October 12, 2011:
As I wander around in my thoughts, I see dark. No walls, no corners, no edges, just dark. I am afraid. Afraid to walk around. This negative energy is powerful. Effective. I couldn’t possibly get rid of it. I am powerless. Wait. Wait a minute. I can… see. A light. Minuscule, but present. I walk slowly and cautiously towards it. I touch it. I trust it. It suddenly grows. It grows until it lights up the whole space. I am positive. I am light. I am free.
October 19, 2011:
I cry. My tics, they cry too. Lonely I am. Alone I am not. I do not want to cry. I feel weak. I feel helpless. Am I helpless? I am not hopeless because their is always hope. The clouds are moving. The block the sun’s rays. Dimmer the light gets. The wind blows harder. The trees move faster. A moment later, the sky, it begins to cry. I see the tears fall. I go outside. I feel them. The raindrops. I am lonely no longer.
October 28, 2011:
Yes, I am different. So what? I have at least one disorder. That’s okay. I have flaws. Doesn’t everyone? I’m not perfect. I’m not normal. But, then again, who really is normal anyway? Everyone has some weirdness to them. They just don’t want to admit it. You know what? I’m proud to be me. I tic, I’m anxious all the time, I’m weird. I am me. I will not be something I’m not. This is me and I’m not going back.
November 7, 2011:
My tics, they are up and high. They are so high they could touch the sky. I don’t know what to do. I step outside. The air so clean. So fresh. So crisp. I feel the coolness on my face. The rush of the wind. I take a deep breath. Happiness overcomes me. I want to dance. I want to sing. I have hope once again. My tics are almost gone. I am in love with this feeling. I have passion. I am now a believer in myself.
November 17, 2011:
I inhale and exhale. Slowly and thoroughly. I must calm down. My agitation must lower. My tics must lower as well. Breathe, self. Think of good things. Freedom, happiness, love. Your page, your fans, your life overall. You are fine, you are fine. You are good. Let it go. Let yourself relax. Do not hide with shame, but stand up against your obstacles. Face them. Not just with pride in yourself, but with love in your heart. There. You are better now. You have made it.
December 5, 2011:
I feel it, yes. The rush of the cool wind. It brushes my face, my skin. I feel pure once again. The trees sway. The sky is as clear as my mind. Cloudless. Open. The sun shining bright. The crisp, clean air is all I need. So close to winter. So close. My heart sings with joy. My soul is brightened by nature. The leaves falling and flowing with the sweet wind. So beautiful is this time. Now I feel free. My troubles are gone. My worries are over.
December 15, 2011:
People are staring. Staring as I pass by. Forcing air down my throat, into my lungs. It does not hurt. It is irritating, not painful. They stare at me, hoping it hurts me. Hoping their ice cold stare makes me feel uncomfortable. That it embarrasses me. That I will stop whatever it is I’m doing. They don’t understand. How could they? Unless they are hiding it. Nobody is perfect? Why should I be? I am not their puppet. I am different. I am special, yes. They don’t see it. I will pass by with a smile on my face, showing them that I can still live in this world. Knowing that I’m not alone, and I’m proud of who I am.
December 20, 2011:
Love. One of the essences of life. Love of a family. The support of a family. Whether you are feeling down, upset, depressed, or angry, a hug or kiss will cheer you up. A smile, a laugh is all it takes to have a day turned back around. A compliment, a talk, expressing yourself. Communication makes things better. Makes life better. Do not feel alone, for you are not alone. Keep your chin up. Smile for the good times. Let the silver lining shine. Then you will shine.
Hope you all are having a beautiful day! :)