Lately I’ve noticed that some of you think my life is all positive and only great things happen to me. I can’t blame you for that because a lot of great things have happened to me lately and I never write about the not-so-good-times. I don’t like to write about that, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. So today: the not-so-good-times!
Three weeks ago, my school year started and that always means that I have more tics. This year came with the lovely surprise of a new tic, which centered right on the edge of my skull and it hurt a lot. A week later, the tic was still there, but I guess I combined it with another tic and I cracked my ribs out of place. I think basically all of them, or at least a lot. That happens to me every few months, as my spine isn’t completely straight and my ribs have too much place to move.
But now, I got dizzy with every move I made and every muscle in my body started to hurt (the tension in my muscles was too high, so even my legs hurt). But the tic was gone, so that was good. I don’t think I could even do the tic with my ribs at the wrong place.
A few days later, I got my ribs cracked back in place and I figured, it would be OK from then on. But no. The muscles in my neck had space to move again and I got even more dizzy now. And the headache got worse. Now my rib wasn’t supporting my head anymore, the muscles in my neck had to do that again, like they are suppose to. But the tic, which I’d only had for one week and I hadn’t done for five days, hurt these muscles so bad that my neck wasn’t really capable to hold my head without making me dizzy and giving me headaches. And it turns out, these muscles are attached to the eyes, what explained the constant dizziness and me not able to see straight.
My physical therapist tried to relax my body (because everything hurt again because of the high muscle tension) and the muscles in my neck, which worked out a bit. And she taped my neck, so the muscles don’t have to carry my head on their own (and it also works against tics).
So now I have bright blue tape on both sides of my neck (which clashes with just about every outfit I want to wear ;) and at night still a lot of dizziness and headaches. I basically have to lay down as much as possible and if I don’t, I have headaches and I’m dizzy. So I’m taking it slow these days and hopefully the muscles in my neck get stronger soon because I’m really sick of it after three weeks!
But, you know, it’s part of life with Tourette. Life isn’t perfect, I don’t even want it to be. Just try to focus on the good things, like I do (I haven’t had neck tics in two weeks!). And even if you think my life is perfect, when you read my blogs, remember; no life is perfect, I just decided to live my life the way I want to and so should you! :)
It’s good that you live your life the way you want to. Don’t let anything hold you back. And I’m not sure why you felt the need to justify yourself to anyone. So what if someone thought your life was all rosey. That’s their problem. You can’t worry about what others think of you!
It’s not that I want to justify myself, I wanted to make sure that you guys understood that there is no such thing as the perfect life. For years I’ve thought that other people had a perfect life and I didn’t get why I couldn’t have one, which only made me more depressed. Now I know that there is no such thing as perfect. It doesn’t exist. And when you know that, It’s way easier to be happy with your own life :)
I don’t write this blog for me, I know my life, I write it because I hope others can learn from it :)
You tell ’em. Good for you!