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Fighter — it’s more than just a word

Fighter.

What does this word mean? What does it really mean? There is more than one definition. Fighter … as in  someone who partakes in a fight. Fighter … as in someone who fights every second of every day in more than one way. I would like to believe I’m the second definition.

Anyone with Tourette Syndrome is a fighter — maybe not every second of the day, but a lot of things are really hard to do. Does this mean we can’t do them? No. It means we fight to do them. We fight a part of ourselves. A part that is deeply engraved in our minds. A part we cannot control.

Day by day, we fight this demon in our brains. We search for ways to make it stop controlling us. There is no way out, so we continue to fight. Fight for what we want to do. Those of us who have mental disorders — or even those of us who have suffered terrible things in our lives or feel uncomfortable in our own homes — are the best of the fighters.

The second definition has the best fighters. Yes, it’s hard, but we must be resilient, for this is our lives.

The hellish part of us can be heavenly at points. It makes us stronger. It makes us work harder. Most importantly, it makes us who we are. And no matter what you think about yourself, I’m telling you right now: Who you are is great. You have been made greater by the thing you wish away the most.

You have struggled with drastic situations and come out victorious. You are who you are today because of Tourette Syndrome. Because of depression. Because of your home life. Because of whatever is troubling you. You think you haven’t won? Put your hand over your heart. Do you feel that? A pulse? This means you have won. You are still alive and breathing.

My mother always told me that God never gives you anything you cannot handle. You can do this. You’re a fighter. You’ve made it through this far, you can make it through the rest of your life. Everyone’s lives have purpose and meaning. Everything happens for a reason. I promise. What you may believe is your worst curse might be your best gift.

Every situation, every memory and every fight has made you who you are. It has all shaped you into the beautiful being you are that is walking this earth at this very moment. I promise your life has meaning and anywhere you look you can find fulfillment, as long as you seek it.

Even though what you have has made you who you are, it has only made you who you are because you have fought it. You have fought it every day so that you can keep living. So that you can stay positive even though you feel sometimes or even most of the time that nothing goes right. There is always a reason to be alive. Always.

For those of us with Tourette Syndrome, there is a part of our brain that we cannot seem to take control of. We keep our friends close and our enemies closer. So close that they are living in our brains. But we must thank these enemies, for they have made us strong and beautiful beings. We might wish them away, but who would we be without them? Would we take more things for granted?

If you ever feel like you must die to escape, and that the fight has been too hard, and you have been beaten to a pulp too many times, coming into the victory circle wounded and tired, look around you. Colors. Smiles. Laughs. Joy. Hugs. Kisses. Butterflies. Kindness. Beauty. Life. All of God’s creations. All of the things you would miss out on if you took your own life.

You might think that taking your life is the only way out, but you are a fighter. Remember that you are not the only one in the battle. And that you will always win the war. As long as you are alive, you are winning.

Whomever is reading this right now; you are a winner. Everyone has their own battles, whether big or small. You are not alone. You are not the only one fighting. Keep living, because tomorrow is a new day. Someone very wise once said, “Tomorrow will be better, and if it is not, then it is not yet tomorrow.”

There is always someone in the world who is meant to love you. There are multiple people who love you. Taking your life can be thought of as an act of selfishness. Do not take yourself from your loved ones. They love you. Love is louder than any word anyone has ever called you, and it is greater than any blow anyone has taken to you. Love takes up more of your brain than any disorder, and love can heal better than any doctor.

Fight. Fight so that you can stay in love’s warm embrace. You might feel at times that no one loves you, but if you fight those feelings away, which might be the one of the hardest challenges you will have to face, you will see that you are loved. By many people. Even if you do not know it.

You might think that if you died no one would care. But they would. You might not even know the person that loves you, but their heart might be filled with you inside. If you cannot fight for yourself, then fight for this person. Fight because God wants you to. Fight because Jesus fought for you. I do not care whether you believe in God or not, because he is up there whether you like it or not, and he loves you so much. He loves you with a love like no one else’s. You are his child, and he loves you. Forever.

If you still believe that no one loves you, then I’m telling you right now that I do. I love you. I do not care who you are or what you have done. I love you.

So many things in life could be going wrong, but you, my friend, are a fighter. Your life is valuable. Honestly, the second definition of a fighter is always much stronger than the other. Both definitions could be fighting for their lives, but in many aspects, it is much harder for the second definition people, which makes them stronger. Maybe not physically, but mentally and emotionally.

I am a fighter. I fight everyday. I fight my disorders, but even though they cannot be completely defeated, I fight for an extraordinary life. Not a normal one. Who would ever want a normal life? Not me.

I love you all from the bottom of my heart, and thank you so much for reading.

P.S. — Dedicated to one of my great friends, Haley. <3

EmmaO

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