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Struggling with tics and anxiety and looking for support

Hi! My name is Hannah, and I have been struggling with Tourette’s for about 6-7 years now. I was never formally diagnosed, though. However, I was diagnosed with depression, ocd, and have multiple symptoms of ADD, however I don’t know if that’s just because of my tics or not. Ever since I was a kid I have done weird tics that made others look at me like I was crazy. I used to push in on my stomach almost as if I was trying to hurt myself. That was where it started. I then developed head-banging & hand shaking symptoms. That was in 4-5 grade. (I still have those 2 to this day & I am a junior in high school) My first vocal tic was a noise I would make as if I was trying to mock a frog. Followed by constant throat clearing and grunting. Those two have also lasted to this day, however the frog noise lasted around 2 years. By seventh grade, I started feeling extremely depressed and I got prescribed 40mg of Prozac to try and help my depression and anxiety. Once I started taking that, my tics continued to get worse. I was still feeling depressed for about 2 years and I developed new tics. They included eye blinking, kicking my leg, having to touch something with my right hand after it touches my left, mocking facial gestures of others (especially on tv), mocking others noises, thumb clicking, shoulder shrugging, jaw clenching, and a few others that were minor. (One that I have developed recently (within the past year) is that a few nights a week or when I am taking a nap, I’ll be in the middle of sleeping/ falling asleep, and I will wake myself up by shouting a random word that I have no control over.)They seem to get worse when I’m thinking about them, but they get better when I’m either doing math or art. I am an honors student in Highschool and make all a’s, which is why my mother never felt like it truly affected me as much as it does. It may not affect me so much academically, but socially and physically it is terrible. Yes, I have a small friend group that knows about my symptoms and makes sure to accept my flaws, but in an uncomfortable situation, or around new people, my tics begin to spiral out of control to where I even sometimes have minutes at a time where my whole body starts shaking and all of my tics go off at once. A lot of the time, I can suppress my tics when I am trying to attract as little attention to myself as possible. However, the longer I hold it in, the worse the urges get. Once I let it out, it all comes out at once and I can’t control it until it takes its toll. I am scared that this will be difficult for me when I apply for a job or try to do anything on my own when IĀ graduate highschool. I have extremely bad social anxiety as well, so the job interview is the scariest part of a job for me. If I am not familiar with the person I get nervous and my tics start to spiral, motor and vocal. I always feel like an outcast because people just don’t understand. I would be so thankful if you would accept all of my efforts to join this blog! I have been looking for a support group and people to talk to that share similar struggles as me and this would be an amazing opportunity! Thank you so much for reading this it really means a lot to me.

Side note:

There are also other minor tics that I do excessively that I never knew were tics until I researched this subject. Such as nail biting, lip biting, knuckle cracking, etc. I didn’t know if those were relevant or not as many people do those things when they get nervous.

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HannahA

2 Comments

  1. Hi! I feel your pain, I have anxiety. I don’t take any meds but I sometimes will use a stressball. I know some coping skills to help you! Also I have a tic as well, coughing. I understand the stress it has to self and others. E-mail me if you want help and learn the coping skills. I know they made me better afterwords. Also I suggest having a scycoligest (however you spell it).

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