It is crazy to think that I just finished up my junior year of college. Next year is my last year, and then I am off trying to find a real job and an apartment, supporting myself. These past three years at Montclair have been absolutely amazing, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
I’ve gone through my ups and downs with my Tourettes, OCD and anxiety, but in the end, it has all turned out for the best. I’ve also had my struggles with friends, thinking I had found good ones and then realizing how wrong I was. But luckily I found my true friends along the way, and I am so glad I did.
This past year has been one of the best ones for me. I had all of my close girlfriends on my floor in my dorm, and I made so many new, amazing friends. I met and became close with one of my suite mates for next year, and she is a sweetheart. And, I finally turned 21!!
Next year I am living in an on-campus apartment, and am so excited! After a while you’re just kind of like, “OK, I’ve had enough of the dorm life and the horrible on-campus food.” Now, I am living in an apartment with three other girls, and we have a kitchen! I am so excited to have a kitchen, you have no idea. To be able to make our own food, I am just so happy and excited!
I am trying to think of what we need for the apartment, and the only things I can really think of is a coffee maker/Keurig, a blender and a vacuum. Whoops, oh yeah, and a lot of decorations! I’m sure as the summer moves on our list will grow. Oh yeah! I tried my first cup of coffee this year!! I am really starting to like It, the only problem is it makes my tics works because of all the caffeine. Thankfully not too bad, but there is a slight increase. I’m just making it a point not to drink it every day.
I decided to make my major just sociology, and what I want to do after I graduate is work for this company that is about raising awareness for TS. I would love to later on go and do my own thing and become a motivational speaker about what I have, but this I feel would be an amazing start (if I get the job once I graduate). After that I hope to become a novelist on the side, maybe write a memoir or an autobiography, and then novels on the side.
Now for all of you that are going into college, or are in college, listen up:
Times are going to get hard, they are going to get rough, but you have to persevere and keep fighting. I cannot tell you how many times I had wanted to drop out because of stress or problems with a roommate and friends, and just live at home with my parents forever, but that’s not realistic.
The thing is, things might get bad, but they will only be bad for a little while. There are always ways to get out of it and see the light. My out was my friend Joy, she was always there for me no matter what the hour, and would help rationalize with me. When I thought I couldn’t do it, she told me I could, and I needed that reassurance.
I think everyone needs that every once in a while. That’s why I’m here, telling you this. Times may get hard, they may get rough, but you can and will do this and persevere. College is the best four years of your life! They absolutely are, trust me. But you have to realize that to have that fun, you have to conquer your fears and just let loose. Do not let your little “something extra” hold you back. Push through and say, “Hey, I can do this! I am going to have the best time of my life here and nothing and no one is going to stop me!”
There is a quote that I love, and it goes like this:
“Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don’t think that you’ve lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.”
One of my best friends found this quote and read it in yoga (try it, yoga is one of the most relaxing and fulfilling exercises out there! I absolutely love it!). I absolutely adore the quote because it is saying that everything in your life, all of your obstacles, all of your challenges, have molded you into who you are today.
Don’t think that you’ve lost time fighting and figuring out where you want to be in life, what you want to do, how to be you, or just struggling with you, realize that every situation you’ve encountered was there for a reason. It has brought you to the now, and now is right on time. Don’t think that you’ve lost time because you haven’t. You have all the time in the world to do and be who you want to do and be.
And struggling with your OCD, your ADD, your TS doesn’t mean that you’ve lost time, you’ve realized what works and what doesn’t. And it will all turn out the right way in the end. My mom always say everything works out in the end, no matter what. And she’s right, everything does work out in the end. Just keep your head up high and think, I can do this, I’m strong enough, because you know what, you are.