Your question touches on the core of dialectics in the Dialectical Behavior Therapy skills I was discussing. Dialectics is a philosophical stance which involves several assumptions:
a. every thing is connected, b. change is constant and inevitable, and c. opposites can be be true at the same time and integrated together are a closer approximation of the truth-and the truth is never a constant it is always changing and evolving.

Your question touches upon the last tenet of Dialectics, it is true that our emotions are a part of us AND we are not (only) our emotions. Therefore we should take into consideration the information our emotions give us, and appreciate the intensity of our emotions, and at the same time not allow our actions to be solely governed by our emotions.

So when it comes to “trusting our instincts” we should appreciate the information our emotions or “our gut” gives us and at the same time take a step back and put this information into a larger picture, incorporating what we know from past experiences and our knowledge of the present moment, along with the valuable information we get from our emotions or instinct.

I hope that helps to clarify your questions.

To Kara11102:
Not having assessed this child myself I can’t be sure why the child is “whiny” and therefore can only answer in general. My first question would be regarding why the child whines, and when? After understanding the reason for the behavior, (e.g. to seek attention, to communicate a feeling) I would see if there was something maintaining the behavior. If the child wants attention, does he/she get more attention when whining? If this is the case, positive attention should be given to the child when he/she is not whining. Examples of positive attention can be a smile, a hug, a high five, a genuine comment such as “I can tell you’re working really hard on your home work and not complaining, I’m proud of you”

Mindfulness skills may help the child to become more aware of his/her behavior, however asking the child to change their behavior without understanding and validating why s/he does whine, may make the child resistant to this change (i.e. feel misunderstood).

Reply to KelleyT:
Educators in a mainstream classroom setting can help children and adolescents develop their emotional knowledge by integrating emotion education into their lessons. When working with specific children experiencing difficulties with emotion regulation, educators can collaborate with the parents in a non-judgmental way to put a behavioral plan into place at school and at home. This might be through the earning of points for using coping skills appropriately throughout the day, which can be exchanged for privileges or prizes (this can even work with teens).

Educators may also play a very important role in recommending further assessment or treatment. A teacher may recommend that the child having difficulties be assessed for learning disabilities that may have been overlooked. A teacher may recommend that the child speak to a counselor to develop better coping skills.