This is the essay I submitted to the NJ Center for Tourette Syndrome & Associated Disorders (NJCTS) for their 2017 Youth Scholarship Award contest.
I was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome at 6 years old. I was very scared when I first found out I had some rare disease but my mom made me feel better about the condition that I had because she would educate me about why my body was doing the things it was doing. I started to become more aware of my tics, later on in my diagnosis I found out about some specific learning disabilities I had, and began to develop anxiety issues.
Tics have waxed and waned my whole life but thankfully for me, my tics weren’t as noticeable compared to some other children who had Tourette Syndrome growing up. Thanks to this, I was never really subject to bullying. However, the types of tics that I had such as shoulder shrugs, rapid blinking, joint popping, and muscle flexing takes a toll on my body and can leave my back in pain on days where I tic a lot. Recently I’ve learned to cope with these tics and use conditioned response therapy to help relieve them.
I am fluent in many subjects that don’t require much math skill such as language arts, woodshop, and many other fields. I’m a creative person but I feel as if I my creativity and knowledge capacity is limited due to my learning disabilities involving math. It is hard for me to stay focused on a math problem and when doing many math problems I become anxious and overwhelmed. Learning math is hard for me as well because I will learn about certain types of problems or theories and we’ll just barely grasp it. When we move on to different theories, I sometimes forget what I learned before making it more difficult to learn new problems. I’m lucky enough to have a tutor in my school who I am close with who helps me when I struggle with math.
Not until quite recently have I become aware of my anxiety issues. I tend to get overworked on things and tasks that many people find normal, but my brain blows it out of proportion. This can cause me to rethink a lot of decisions I make as well as a sense of self-doubt. This ties in with my learning disabilities and can aggravate my tics.
Tourette Syndrome will always have a lasting impact on me, when I go to college, when I get married, and when I have kids. My tics will still be there, my learning disabilities will be there, and my anxiety will be there as well. I need as much support as possible getting into college so I may become successful and independent so one day I can get married and have kids.